Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Mother of All Office Workers

A bigger-than-life, real-life, mamma doll that’s no dummy
  (+8, -4)
(+8, -4)
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Feeling stressed-out, frustrated, harassed by the boss, antagonized by co-workers? Don’t just go to a special room with a bed to relax or hit on a sandbag to let off steam; go see Big Mamma. She’ll be waiting for you in a dimly lit, lockable room with soft music. Her seated, four meter frame is covered with a warming, supple material such as Tempur. Her pouting lips and sympathetic eyes, combined with measured heartbeat sound and breathing movement, will entice you into her big lap to rest against the ample bosom. Big Mamma, feeling the weight of a needy mouse-pusher, will embrace you with gentle giant arms while murmuring, “It’s OK, honey”, “There, there sweetie”, etc. Grasp her finger, press your head against her stroking hand and feel your worries melt away.
FarmerJohn, Jun 12 2002

(?) Tempur http://www.tempurpedic.com/material.asp
A supple, space-age material for mattresses and pillows [FarmerJohn, Jun 12 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

weary fondling crew http://www.halfbake...y_20fondling_20crew
Humans that come to you. [FarmerJohn, Jun 12 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       The question is, would she provide a 'wet nurse' service?
stupop, Jun 12 2002

       Nope, bring your own pacifier.
FarmerJohn, Jun 12 2002

       A Womb Room?   

       I don't know which is more disturbing: The idea of running to mommy-by-proxy, or the realization that I would probably would do it.   

       'Course where I work it would be SRO.
phoenix, Jun 12 2002

       So Really Odd?   

       [bm] Could it be your time was up? Or maybe it's a mother-daughter thing: she was scolding you for not wearing a sport bra in your pogo chair.
FarmerJohn, Jun 12 2002

       Why a synthetic woman when you could employ a real woman for the job?   

       I met a woman once who fit this description. A big woman of ample bosom who was always there to give out hugs and words of encouragement in a hospital ward where people were facing death on a daily basis.   

       Was she employed by the hospital? Yes. She was the cleaner.
Helium, Jun 12 2002

       I really really dislike this and I am not sure why I do - but perhaps it says more about me than I care to know.
po, Jun 12 2002


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