Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Toaster That Always Burns

This one slice, one shot toaster is a rectangle of thin cardboard impregnated with charcoal chips, dipped in wax and folded in a U shape.
  (+5, -6)
(+5, -6)
  [vote for,

Stand the toaster on its flattened base in the middle of a plate, insert a slice of bread between the sides, turn down the lights and put a match to the fuse. The toaster flames up briefly before its embers glow for a minute.

This magic moment is over when the bread falls over. Brush off any benign ash, spread butter on the warm, crispy, golden surface and enjoy.

FarmerJohn, Oct 26 2004


       mmmmmm just like mother used to make.
po, Oct 26 2004

       Naked flame, you say? [+]
DocBrown, Oct 26 2004

       FJ you're my hero, but if you read my 'Obituary Channel' idea its been a bad day for my heroes. Gotta bone ya mate. [-] Unless you do a brill illustration.
etherman, Oct 26 2004

       [-] for the nauseating second paragraph.
jutta, Oct 26 2004

       Mmm, lapsang souchong bread.
harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004

       baked? I think the first toast ever made was probably made with real-live fire instead of electric resistance. This just adds a disposable / highly consumptive element. FarmerJohn usually does better.
sophocles, Oct 26 2004

       I've made toast over a fire before. It feels wholesome.
harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004

       Maybe if it was a thin plank of cedar or something. I'll have to think about this idea more before I give it my vote either way.
sartep, Oct 26 2004

       [etherman] Nobody bribes the farmer.   

       [jutta] Think candle lit breakfast. Think sunset or rainbow. I think sometimes a piece of white/whole-wheat toast with just butter can release myriad taste sensations of yeast and grain(s).   

       [sophocles] I’m probably more environmentally conscious than you. Even some of your electricity is produced by coal and gas. No, the farmer doesn’t usually do better. This is about average – my best for the moment.
FarmerJohn, Oct 26 2004

       FJ - I wish you knew my mom!
po, Oct 26 2004

       "The Farmer", I love it!   

       The Farmernator will be back.
spiritualized, Oct 26 2004

       [po] I fear she's too old for me but tell me what she does.
FarmerJohn, Oct 26 2004


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