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The "Disappointed Mother" Anti-Chew Pen

Emotionally blackmails you into doing the right thing
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Are you disgusted when people chew on their pens? Do you mind overpaying heavily for ostensibly useless products? Boy, do we have just the thing for you!!

The Guilt-Trip(R) range of home and office products brings you yet another exciting invention, just in time for the new school year!

We give you... The "Disappointed Mother" Anti-Chew pen. This amazing product combines hi-tech sensors and speakers and will make disappointed comments about your life and how worthless you have grown up to be when you begin to chew on the pen! Guaranteed to make you stop that disgusting habit! Can also be programmed to say that it doubts it will ever have grand-children!!

***Limited Time OFFER!!!!*** Buy 2 "Disappointed Mother" Anti-Chew Pens and get one "Cynical Older Sister" Motivational Career Advice DVD absolutely FREE!!!

anandwshere, Aug 25 2009

Help file: tongue in cheek http://www.halfbake...al/help.html#tongue
[jutta, Aug 25 2009]

[link]






       I don't have a stereotypical disappointed mother, and I don't have any stereotypical sisters either, cynical or otherwise, so I guess this one falls flat for me.   

       Perhaps we could include other clichéd stereotypes with which to imbue this pen.
zen_tom, Aug 25 2009
  

       I think there's an idea here. And not terribly off the mark. I like parts of it, (guilt trip product line gave me a chuckle. So neutral).
blissmiss, Aug 25 2009
  

       goodness, if chewing a pen is the height of disappointment, you can't be doing too bad.
po, Aug 25 2009
  

       wow, some of you take these 'inventions' very seriously. I dont doubt that most of you have very sympathetic mothers and sisters. I have a nice, non-disappointed mother myself. And I dont even have a sister. It's supposed to be funny because chewing a pen isn't that big an offense, and doesn't really warrant a disappointed, guilt-trippy mother... oh, well... if I have to explain it in excruciating detail, it's not a very good idea, is it?   

       maybe next time, then.
anandwshere, Aug 25 2009
  

       It's all in knowing your audience. Which makes me think that with some, a pen that starts playing a chugga-chugga-oooh porn sound track and moaning softly as you nibble its tip might be much more of a deterrent than any fictitious misogynist stereotype would ever be.
jutta, Aug 25 2009
  

       wait, what???   

       Overly concerned mothers are a misogynist stereotype, but allusions to porn, and moaning (i'm guessing that would be a woman's voice moaning) are not?   

       Honestly, I'm not trying to be combative, but jutta, that's a weird take on things. But, you're right, it's all in knowing your audience, and boy, was I way off on this one...
anandwshere, Aug 25 2009
  

       > i'm guessing that would be a woman's voice moaning
That wasn't what I was thinking of. It's a pen. It's kind of a phallic shape, you know? So I'd expect the pen to sound kind of male if it's getting pleasure out of you nibbling its tip. Although probably high-pitched. I mean, it's also just a pen.
jutta, Aug 25 2009
  

       gotta admit a pen with the sound of a *male* pornstar getting it on would pretty well shut down whatever I was doing at the time... doubt I'd buy a refill though.
FlyingToaster, Aug 25 2009
  

       For what it's worth, [anandwshere], I chewed on pencils a lot. #2s to be exact. Yellow, crunchy, with a woody undertone, and a lead aftertaste. They were delicious. God, now I'm hungry.   

       Welcome to the bakery.
blissmiss, Aug 25 2009
  

       //some of you take these 'inventions' very seriously.//   

       anand, this is in the nature of the Halfbakery. If someone posts an idea for a custard-based Schrodinger's catflap, ten people will analyse the relevant viscosities and another dozen will draw attention to the missing umlaut. It's how this place pays its way.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 25 2009
  

       //the missing umlaut// It wasn't missing until you went and ... oh, never mind.
pertinax, Aug 26 2009
  

       Don't be put off [anandswhere] your first idea sucks way less than my first several, you've just got to persevere.
kaz, Aug 26 2009
  

       sorta sounds like the low-key version of a locator-ankle-thing that convicted criminals can be forced to wear. You could put all sorts of horrendous things onto it: air-sampler for alcohol/nicotine/other, GPS for curfew, complementary devices so you don't hang out with the wrong crowd.... the mind boggles.
FlyingToaster, Aug 27 2009
  

       Nice. All it would take would be some pressure sensors.   

       "I'm so disappointed that you picked up the habit of chewing on your pen again. Why can't you be more like your older sister? She never uses too many exclamation points, either."
RayfordSteele, Aug 27 2009
  

       I found half the umlaut.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 27 2009
  

       Thats not a comma, thats one of my missing apostrophes.
egbert, Aug 28 2009
  

       [does a double, then triple take...]   

       IT'S FLOCKING EGBERT!!!
blissmiss, Aug 28 2009
  
      
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