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Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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A website that takes over your need for making decisions
Tell us your dilemma, and we promise to process it and
take a decision for you in a responsible but compelling
way, keeping your safety and well-being in mind, but
considering your environment, friends, and your
community. It will insert thrill into your life and help you
the type of person you wish to be.
This is for young people who don't want to study, learn,
understand and waste time on experience and
knowledge, The Think4You app will give you all the
answers for your next
step in life.
It learns from its own mistakes (and that's a large pool of
experience to learn from) and it forgives itself (by
YOU forgive yourself because you weren't the one making
the decisions). It also gets to know you better as time
progresses, beginning with small steps like deciding on
which brand of soft drink to get, and finally giving the
decisions like whether to accept the role of CEO for a
investment company or join the US special forces to Adis
||The truth is that most of the clients get decisions like if to
set the alarm for tomorrow at 5am or quit the job of street
cleaning, but that wouldn't look too good on the
||Is Congress still using the Beta version?
||Yes, but it failed validation, so they've reverted to the previous version, and for unsupported functionality they just flip a coin.
||We don't tell the clients about this, but the engine is
actually a rational one, so it debunks any conspiracy
theories and bad-science ideas you may come up with,
including the one about this program itself actually being
controlled by the Anunnaki, the Bilderbergs, the Russians,
the Lefties, the Neocons, the Chinese, the Zionists, the
Jews, the Rothschilds or the EU.
||//This is for young people who don't want to study, learn, understand and waste time on experience and knowledge, The Think4You app will give you all the answers for your next step in life. //
||There are many kids out there who need something like this since the adults in their lives either can't or won't give such advice. Too bad that it would be so open to abuse.
||It's a pretty good idea otherwise. No endless appointments. No judgmental person dictating. Just straight-up advice based on previous results which can be ignored at will.
||more minions, har... har.. har.. <simultaneous action>plays fingers against each other</simultaneous action>