Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Time String

For when you're asked how long it will be
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In some quarters, the phrase "how long is a piece of string?" is still thought to be a witty reply to a request for a linear measurement, when the replier doesn't know the answer.

Even more unfortunately, it's often misused to answer a question about how long something will take. In order to alleviate the ridicule that this causes, I propose string which is sold in lengths measured in units of time. The conversion factor has yet to be determined, but researchers are fairly certain that c will be involved somewhere; possibly the fine structure constant too, but they're not so sure about that since it's been suggested that it may not be a constant at all. This at least would go some way towards explaining why nothing ever gets done around here, which is one of the other fundamental questions of life, the universe and everything.

English Bob, Jul 05 2011

Grace Hopper http://en.wikipedia...ce_hopper#Anecdotes
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jul 05 2011]

[link]






       In a General Relativity sense, space and time are sort of equivalent.
hippo, Jul 05 2011
  

       Presumably this is a derivative of String Theory ?   

       We suggest that nothing less than some sort of logarithmic factor in the relationship will keep the balls of string down to manageable sizes.   

       However, since non-coherent electromagnetic propagation is subject to inverse square law, and string is, by its nature, coherent, you might be able to fit a square-law function in there somewhere.
8th of 7, Jul 05 2011
  

       But if one should tie the ends of the bit of string together, then how long is it?   

       Then there's the Gravity string, which could be stored near the black hole.
Ling, Jul 05 2011
  

       // space and time are sort of equivalent //   

       That reminds me - this might also help those poor unfortunates who insist on using light years as a measure of time.   

       A: "How long will this take?"   

       B: "How long is a piece of string?" (Laughter)   

       A: (Thinks) "Er, light years?"   

       Thus every task will take years. Two wrongs can make a right after all.
English Bob, Jul 05 2011
  

       // you might be able to fit a square-law function in there somewhere //   

       Oh yes. That makes sense. I always wanted one of those.   

       Ta for the link. I should have known Amazing Grace would have had the answer.
English Bob, Jul 05 2011
  

       Could these lengths of string be also used to create a theory that explains how gravity works?
xenzag, Jul 05 2011
  

       WHAT ? CAN YOU SPEAK UP A BIT ?
8th of 7, Jul 05 2011
  

       Units would be atto light years (aly). One aly = 9460730472580.8 x 10^-15 km = 9.4607304725808 m
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 08 2011
  

       (+) A stitch in time...   
      
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