h a l f b a k e r yThe leaning tower of Piezo
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Instead of the customary serifs that characterise the classic
typeface, Times Lewd Roman is subtly embellished with
erogenous detail.
These are placed very discretely on each
letter so as not to be immediately obvious, as Times is a very
sober and upright citizen in the typographic world.
Tiny
sets
of testicles would dangle demurely from the bottom of some
letters, others would display erections poised at various
angles, while bums, breast, nipples and vaginal detail would
conceal themselves easily at strategic points throughout the
entire font. At sizes less than 12 point, these would
probably
only be identifiable under a magnifying glass. The range
would
naturally extend itself into upper and lower case, along with
all the symbols and numerals, with the ligatures being able
to
engage in penetrative copulation of every kind. There are
other "rude" typefaces, but they are very graphic, loud and
obvious. Times Lewd's true nature only reveals itself on very
close inspection.
The typeface would be especially useful when writing to
some
humourless religious fanatic, anti-environmentalist, political
warmonger, animal abuser, whale hunting scum, etc etc -
they're all in my sights. Wish them a nice day, or some other
dimwitted platitude, using a typeface that quietly depicts
the "e"
happily engaging in doggie tricks with the "a".
These lewd fonts aren't so sneaky...
http://www.musicaec...glisherotic0001.htm [DrCurry, Jan 13 2006]
(?) More Erotic Fonts
http://www.legzie.com/erfonts.html ....bringing a whole new meaning to "for personal use only" [DrCurry, Jan 13 2006]
[link]
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(+) [xenzag] There is a Computer:Font category. |
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Keep writing those letters! |
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thanks consulFlaminus - didn't spot that place - will move
idea, and yes I do write a lot of letters. |
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miasere - there is an excellent programme called
Fontographer, very comprehensive, ridiculously cheap,
given its capabilities and it's easily available |
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[+] Although I don't know if I'd use it myself, I think it's really creative thinking! |
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boy, are you on the right idea? |
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chaucer probably made his own little doodles. |
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i can visualize two elderly bibliophiles haggling over a rare "penis" printing of macbeth.. |
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I thought most schoolboys added their own embellisments? |
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hey r_r, welcome to hb! very funny! |
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& eggy, their own spelins |
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[Supreme Court of Chronology] |
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Yeah, they've been stacked towards the conservative side for some time now. |
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[xenzag] - please send me letters. |
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bristolz - thanks for sp spotting. |
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If sufficiently sneaky, I'd use Lewd Time Roman for business correspondence. Maybe it would have a subliminal "good feeling" effect, thus working to my advantage. nice. |
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Or you might just get a law suit. |
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Come to think of it, I think my two year, "hardly go but can't get out of it", gym membership was drafted in Lewd Times Roman. Yes. I believe it was... |
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Joe, get my attorney on the line! |
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It would be brilliant if it matched the mother font metrics exactly, (ie it looked the same apart from the embellishments) - then you could use it for emphasis. |
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[+] Could also drive a whole new font option; instead of
just "Bold", "Italics", and "Underlined", we could also have
"Masculine", "Feminine", and "Hermaphroditic" options. |
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Next time I have to write a paper on feminist ethics, I
might actually enjoy it. |
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Incidentally, there was a famous April 1st hoax by
the Guardian, consisting of a several-page pullout
section about San Seriffe, a tropical island. The
writers noted that the anti-pornography laws had
been relaxed, leading to the publication of many
risqué books by Seriffean journalists, known
collectively as Times Lewd Romances. |
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I'll take the Sophia Loren font, please |
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The first rude typeface I designed and drew up was Helviticunt. It needs no explanation, and I didn't posted it here because I thought it was a bit too obvious. I never drew up Times Lewd Roman, but maybe someday I will. Perhaps it's already in use and no one has noticed. |
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