Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toaster Conkers

use toasters in a game of conkers
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,

In the traditional game of conkers two opponents take it in turns to use their conker to bash the other's. (if you're not familiar with the game, look it up).

In this new version, the chestnuts are replaced with two domestic toasters, which are hung via their electrical cord at arms length. Each competitor takes it in turn to use their toaster to bash that of their opponent's apparatus until one of them is sufficiently destroyed that it becomes the loser. The survivor triumphs, and goes on to the next round.

Other variations include: smoothing irons, electric kettles, mains radios and desktop fans. (gloves and full visor face protection are recommended as Toaster Conkers tends to generate rapidly flying projectiles)

xenzag, Sep 18 2019

HOW TO PLAY CONKERS https://www.youtube...watch?v=cLGuZZraIqg
a lovely video of original conkers (to be re-imagined with toasters) [xenzag, Sep 19 2019]

Blocky but agile IRL https://www.youtube...watch?v=C0doFA0696g
Modern music, ballroom moves [Sgt Teacup, Sep 20 2019]


       Pointless, childish, violent, irresponsible ... what's not to like ?   

8th of 7, Sep 18 2019

       My giant 6-slice convection toaster oven is legal for play, I assume <scribbling team sweater designs>
Sgt Teacup, Sep 20 2019

       Of course, but remember a large device presents as a less agile, bigger target that a cheaper lightweight toaster can chip away at.
xenzag, Sep 20 2019

       You don't know my toaster. Blocky but agile; Breakfast Brawl champion. Larger men are often surprisingly good ballroom dancers <link>.
Sgt Teacup, Sep 20 2019

       do you soak them in vinegar overnight and then bake them before play?
po, Sep 20 2019

       Yes, a microwave is best for baking [snigger].   

       Don't worry about the sparks, they just mean it's baking properly.
Skewed, Sep 20 2019

       Toaster ovens legal?
RayfordSteele, Sep 23 2019

       Wanton destruction, and unfairness due to damage from previous rounds accumulating. [-]
notexactly, Sep 26 2019

       [notexactly] Canadian? - I guessed correctly.
xenzag, Sep 26 2019

       Nice, competition in showers of tiny croutons.
wjt, Sep 28 2019

       // I guessed correctly. //   

       Based on what? Politeness to toasters?
notexactly, Sep 28 2019

       You keep confirming it without realising why, and that's further confirmation in itself. 100% Canadian.
xenzag, Sep 29 2019

       I keep having text on my profile page saying so (in that I haven't removed said text), if that's what you mean. But I think you're just bluffing at this point.
notexactly, Sep 30 2019

       More confirmation...... you're never going to 'get it'. You're Canadian - the single most boring, humourless country on the entire planet, which even has the edge on Norway.
xenzag, Sep 30 2019

       My real-life friends are a lot less boring than I am, if that means anything.
notexactly, Sep 30 2019


       // even has the edge on Norway //   

       ... but not, alas, Finland, a country so dull that schools careers officers enthusiastically promote emigration and suicide as equally valid life choices.
8th of 7, Sep 30 2019

       Sometimes, the tier below command should just throttle a statement.
wjt, Oct 02 2019


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