Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toddler Harpoon

Ever take a 2 year old out for a walk?
  (+16, -1)(+16, -1)
(+16, -1)
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Me: ”You have to hold my hand when we’re near the road” Small: “No! Don’t want to… Not hold hand” Me: “You’ve got to, it’s dangerous here” Small: “No! No! Daddy! Not hold hand!” (wriggles out of grasp) Me: “No! STOP!”…

…but she’s off, faster than I can run, straight towards the busy road junction.

Oh no, not again.

So I unsling the harpoon gun from my back, calmly shoulder it, aim, and squeeze the trigger.

The bolt whistles through the air and thwacks into her back.

A perfect shot. The big Velcro pad on the harpoon (this is Mark II, of course) meshes with the Velcro target on her back, and I reel her in.

It’s much better than the Mark I – less mess, fewer raised eyebrows at A&E.

Frankx, Jul 31 2006

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       Sounds like some form of urban fishing.
skinflaps, Jul 31 2006

       Newswire: Tragic accident blamed on Toddler Harpoon kits being issued with 'loop' targets and 'loop' harpoons - kid's father to sue.
hippo, Jul 31 2006

       Mind out she doesn't get reeled in by a gang of Japanese 'scientists', out harpooning toddlers for 'research'.
wagster, Jul 31 2006

       Nice image (though the Mark I would be nicer).
Are baby reins no longer available?
angel, Jul 31 2006

       Could save lives. Poor Eric Clapton could have used this.
DrCurry, Jul 31 2006

       I could use the Mark I version...
DesertFox, Jul 31 2006

Dub, Jul 31 2006

       Sounds like you need one of those toddler harness-leash deals, [Frankx].
bungston, Jul 31 2006

       This is not nearly what I thought it was.
shapu, Jul 31 2006

       a toddler can out-run you? [Frankx], you need to work out ;)
xaviergisz, Aug 01 2006

       yes she can, and yes, I do!
Frankx, Aug 01 2006

       Love it! [+]
The_Englishman_Abroad, Aug 01 2006

       .( }
|\\==o'#=== ----------------+
) |

       English. :-(
blissmiss, Aug 02 2006

       Whats wrong bliss? It's not like I 'have' kids... it's more the thought of spearing them with a velcro harpoon gun from a distance of eighty paces....
The_Englishman_Abroad, Aug 02 2006

       Oh, you guys like children? Me too! Can we swap recipes?   

       Only joking, this would be great for my pet monster - er, I mean - little brother...
froglet, Aug 02 2006

       I think lassooing children to whisk them out of the path of danger would look cooler.
hippo, Aug 02 2006

       Although it would be rather tragic if you lasooes their necks to whisk them out of safety, [hippo].
froglet, Aug 02 2006


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