Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toddler assault course

Hilarity ensues
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There are few things in the Universe more amusing than the antics of small humans who have not yet aquired good motor control or situational awareness.

They trip over their own feet, bang their heads on tables, fall into holes and off chairs, and eat all sorts of unsuitable things.

A lot of the time they are however just a nuisance.

As payback, BorgCo will soon be opening the first Toddler Assault Course.

Modelled on military training regimes, the equipment is set up in a large open area close to a major retail centre. Toddlers are attracted with an offer of free short-term childcare.

Once the parent(s) are safely out of sight and earshot, the victims are released into the enclosure.

There are pretty flashing coloured lights, to lure them over a carefully concealed sudden change of level. There are hinged, weighted planks that tip them into cold, muddy ponds. There are sharp things for them to scratch and cut themselves on. There are flights oif steps with slippery surfaces and deceptive spacing, and so much more ...

The whole area is profusely equipped with high-resolution CCTV so that those moments of shock and pain can be stored and enjoyed again and again.

8th of 7, Mar 18 2016

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       It started off good but I think it veered off into the help file via cruelty.
normzone, Mar 18 2016
  

       Awwww...someone had a bad day.
the porpoise, Mar 18 2016
  

       Can we set up one of these for people who sct like they are two?
RayfordSteele, Mar 18 2016
  

       [marked-for-deletion]
Voice, Mar 19 2016
  

       //Toddler assault course// Ah - not a training program for BBC presenters, then.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 19 2016
  
      
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