Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trump On A Ramp

release figure and let it descend slowly down a ramp
  (+7, -3)
(+7, -3)
  [vote for,

Trump On A Ramp is a toy figure that shuffles slowly down any angled ramp that it's placed on, until it either reaches the bottom or veers off and tumbles over the side.

The walking movement is provided for by a simple gravity action based on the limited swing of the two legs, similar to many other toy figures. This creates a motion resembling that of passive dynamic walking. (worth looking up if you don't know what it is)

Place your ramp across a variety of gaps and watch as "he" lurches and slithers gingerly down to the end, or with any luck falls off into the sink full of dirty dishes, or even the toilet bowl.

Comes with a simple low angle ramp, but you can place at a steeper, more adventurous incline for increased dramatic effect.

De luxe version supplied with surrounding moat, containing snapping crocodiles with their spring loaded jaws all primed.

xenzag, Aug 10 2020

Looks like this..... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6bqvGXGN4DA
... only without the other figure to hold his hand and no protective guard rail either. [xenzag, Aug 10 2020]


       Great idea. Let's also make the "Joe Biden / George Soros Sofa Bed" which is a free sofa bed installed in my living room (because who wouldn't want a free sofa bed of excellent quality) but the catch is the sofa bed is owned by some shady offshore bank which rents out the sofa bed to strangers for their profit with me having no benefit from it or control over who is in my house watching tv on and around the sofa bed at all hours, and if I call the phone number on the sofa to schedule a removal of the sofa from my living room (because I was misled about the terms of the "free" sofa and I don't like what's going on) then I hear an old man tell me that he's going to install five more free sofas in my living room because that's the only thing he remembers how to do, then he says that I'm a bad person if I don't want free offshore-bank-owned sofas in every room of my house, then he hangs up on me.
sninctown, Aug 10 2020

       Ha - I woudn't worry too much. Putin will do his best to make sure his best pal Trump is re-elected, since he does such a great job of turning America into the laughing stock of the entire world.
xenzag, Aug 10 2020

       I so wanted him to topple over the side of the ramp...so very much.
blissmiss, Aug 10 2020

       In hope we trust...
xenzag, Aug 10 2020

       Here's a less controversial idea... a "Middle East Bounce House": a 50 mile tall inflatable structure (bouncy wall) installed along all national borders of all countries between Egypt and Russia...a wall which is passable to civilian and commercial traffic but military vehicles simply bounce off if they attempt to drive through or fly over.
sninctown, Aug 11 2020

       I, too, want a magic wand.
Voice, Aug 12 2020

       We will now need an updated version whereas Kamala Harris sneaks up behind him and shoves him off the ramp. Hahaha, that's for calling her names you dump truck full of rotting rabid rancid rats.
blissmiss, Aug 12 2020

       I, too, believe everything I see on the glowy triangle.
Voice, Aug 13 2020

       Wouldn't the upcoming US election make more sense if both the principals were replaced by their off-siders?   

       If Pence and Harris were the presidential candidates, then conservatives could vote for someone who is actually conservative, and progressives for someone who is actually progressive.   

       Just crazy talk, I know.
pertinax, Aug 13 2020

       Trump and Biden are each likely to die of old age before 2024, so it pretty much is that race.
Voice, Aug 13 2020

       //Putin will do his best to make sure his best pal Trump is re-elected,//   

       But the same report stated that China and Iran* want the opposite, so it's about who is more effective at that particular game. I don't even understand how suggestions of foreign attempts at election interference were a surprise to anyone - I'd be amazed if Russia, and to a much greater extent the USSR before them had NOT made attempts to influence elections throughout the world. We know they try & occasionally succeed in places like Ukraine & other bordering states. Similarly, NATO nations work to counter that via 3-letter agencies and through money/treaty/technology offers. It's as if every cold war movie/novel and the whole diplomacy/espionage miasma didn't exist in the public conscience. The difference now is that Russia isn't the USSR. It's somewhere close to Italy/Canada in terms of GDP, they simply can't afford influence through cultural/technological or even military means any more. All they have is the bogyman of their nuclear arsenal, which is degrading constantly.   

       China I suspect, is much more capable than the former USSR. I don't detailed knowledge of the Huawei panic, but their motivation & capability line up. I know people personally that have had their laptops accessed while out of their hotel rooms at conferences in China.   

       *selective reporting ensured CNN left out China/Iran and Fox left out Russia, because who wants nuanced information nowadays?
bs0u0155, Aug 13 2020

       //China I suspect, is much more capable than the former USSR. I don't detailed knowledge of the Huawei panic, but their motivation & capability line up. I know people personally that have had their laptops accessed while out of their hotel rooms at conferences in China.//   

       Russia is Mexico with nukes. China has the ability and some think, the desire to take over the world. I'm not going to die of shock if the US becomes a vassal state of theirs eventually. American corporations are already obediently doing whatever they're told to by their Chinese overlords. Politicians are as well, and have been for a long time.   

       Hate to say it, but my country is for sale. Russia has the same GDP as Texas and can't afford it. China however is in a position to reign over all of us.   

       Uhh, which is what a bad person would say. I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords and will be useful in assisting with rounding up dissidents for "re- education".
doctorremulac3, Aug 13 2020

       // China has the ability and some think, the desire to take over the world. //   

       Interesting theory. But what would this look like in practice? (Keeping in mind that countries and companies can't do things or decide things, only individual people can.) People produce goods in exchange for debt, and when the debt becomes unpayable then assets (land, company ownership, "lifestyle" changes, etc.) in exchange for continuing access to goods? Seems complicated.   

       Personally I vote for whoever would build the biggest Mars colony the fastest.
sninctown, Aug 14 2020

       "Elon Musk for President ! " ?   

       Actually, that makes a lot more sense than any of the other options ...
8th of 7, Aug 14 2020

       In total agreement with both of those annotations.   

       Let's start looking at the big picture. Without a positive path forward I think mankind sort of wallows in tribalism and conflict. We’re like a bored puppy that tears up the furniture.
doctorremulac3, Aug 14 2020

       The Trump ramp should play yodeling music a la The Price is Right as it descends, and then a satisfying scream / car crash at the bottom.
RayfordSteele, Aug 14 2020

       Although I just bunned it, I never had the money to buy specialty ramps for actions figures as a child. Could it not just be a figure which falls over on anything except possibly a ramp? As Seth Meyers has pointed out on 'A Closer Look', Trump habitually stands in an unbalanced way, as if challenging a King Penguin for her egg.
4and20, Aug 14 2020

       Yes, Rayford. It's what was playing in our heads anyway.
blissmiss, Aug 14 2020

       //Trump habitually stands in an unbalanced way// because he's spent so much time compensating for weak pressure showers, and now leans over at an odd angle. Time spent in a straight jacket will soon correct his posture....but not too soon.
xenzag, Aug 14 2020

       //unbalanced// stands like a centaur.
po, Aug 15 2020

       It just occurred to me that this could be easily altered to be "Rump on a Tramp".   

       I thought this would come in helpful for this lovely Saturday morning. I'm awaiting Zoom book circle and have a few spare moments, and this is what I did.
blissmiss, Aug 15 2020

       Go on...
tatterdemalion, Aug 15 2020

       The moments passed. That was all. Now I feel silly.
blissmiss, Aug 15 2020


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