h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.
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The whole brass section gets bluetooth speakers assemblies,
about 2 inches square, that snugly fit the mouthpieces of
their instruments and play various waveforms replacing the
normal raspberry sound you make with your lips to play these
Obviously any sound could be put through
thunder, somebody else playing another instrument, even
[pocmloc, Jul 12 2021]
Lisa Norman, Integrated approach to the analysis of eighteenth-century horns. DPhil thesis, University of Edinburgh, 2013
This was probably the researcher I saw. There's a diagram on p.45 of the thesis. [pocmloc, Jul 12 2021]
||Hmm. Might have to get with the times to sell this
idea. Okay, how's this?
||It's time to replace farting noises used to actuate
instruments because this is disrespectful to people
suffering from gastrointestinal issues.
||Here's what you can to to help me in my quest to
bring wokeness to the corrupt and evil brass
||1- Send me money. 2- Burn all your records that
have brass instruments. 3- Make everybody around
you feel bad for not being as woke as you about
brass instruments. 4- Send me more money. 5-
Admit you've committed evil acts yourself by
enjoying music that has brass instruments and tell
others to do the same although it won't help
because they're still evil and lastly, of course, 6-
Send me more money.
||If you know somebody or know somebody who
knows somebody who is still listening to brass band
music, please call our hotline. Together we can
make the world a better place by ridding the world
of this scourge.
||What is exciting about this(aside from a room full
of grownups making funny faces) is the possibility
of sound synthesis, LFOs, filter sweeps, and lots of
sound design. Getting speakers big enough to push
the air like a brass band would be hard though.
||I was thinking that piezoelectric drivers would be
small enough but you're limited to higher
frequency sounds. The other thing would just use
what's known as a "talk box" which is something
guitar players (back when guitar players used to
try to be creative and interesting) used where a
speaker was attached to a tube that you'd put in
your mouth. The most famous use of this is a song
from the 80s I think by a guy named Peter
Frampton. Still, you're limited in the size of the
waves you can put into that little mouthpiece but
it could be done.
||You know what this would absolutely be good for?
Horror movie sound effects. People get spooked by
things that are unfamiliar and I'm pretty sure with
a little creativity you could really get a batch of
"WTF was that?!" sounds from this.
||Back in my recording studio / touring musician
youth we'd go on what I called "sound safaris" with
my little tape recorder. Abandoned warehouse
where I'd hit various things with a hammer, that
sort of thing. Then take it back to the studio, put
it into a sampler and mix it with various drum hits
etc. Just trying to create sounds that don't occur
naturally is kind of fun.
||I once visited the work room of a musical instrument museum, where there were postgraduate research students doing acoustical investivations of rare 19th century horns and trumpets. They were pretty much doing what you described, attaching a speaker kind of thing to the leadpipe (he bit that the mouthpiece normally fits into), and playing a "swoop" of lots of different frequencies. They then had a microphone at the bell end to record the response. Basically they could make a profile graph of which frequencies were stronger and which were weaker.
||One thing I noticed was that the sound coming out the bell was pretty quiet. I think that to be a useable musical instrument you need some airstream going into the instrument. So rather than a simple oscillator you are basically going to need an artificial vibrating fart noise device.
||Huh, sounds kind of cool, I'd like to see that. Don't
suppose there's any
links on Youtube or something?
||//sound coming out the bell was pretty quiet//
Maybe you need to increase the volume flow rate? Attach air
compressor, and have speaker firing into (perpendicular or
in-line; I dunno...) the airstream as it enters the instrument.
(As in, trying to replicate the effect of a human; both
vibrating lips AND the blow.)
||//Attach air compressor// see: Auxetophone
||[pocmloc]; that's pretty neat. Seems my idea isn't as crazy
as I thought...
||But surely in reed instruments (clarinet, saxophone
etc), the reed is a fart-noise making device for
exactly this purpose?
An air-horn uses compressed air through a reed to
make a honk - perhaps put one of those in your