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Turbojet Powered Woodwind Instruments

To go along with the explosion based percussion instruments and V1 buzzbomb speakers.
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
  [vote for,

These would be played with protective fire suits, asbestos gloves etc. You could have a large turbojet powering multiple instruments or one small (but not too small) turbojet per player.

No on to the metal shredding pipe organ.

doctorremulac3, Nov 03 2019

Boring flute thing. http://newt.phys.un...fluteacoustics.html
[doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019]

Shoot! https://www.indepen...f-ab733bfbdeaa.html
[doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019, last modified Nov 05 2019]

A long and proud history of anti bagpipe activism! Bagpipe_20Canceling_20Headphones
Let the record speak for itself! [doctorremulac3, Nov 06 2019]


       I was just thinking of trying to learn the sax today. Maybe I'll just wait for the touring turbos to perform instead.
blissmiss, Nov 03 2019

       The Touring Turbos.... ever managed a band before? You might have what it takes.
doctorremulac3, Nov 03 2019

       //WOODwind... fire suits...//
There is something not lining up here... perhaps brass would be a better choice than wood?
Also, I'm not sure how well a reed would handle the extreme air-flow speeds. Again, a brass mouthpiece would probably work better (I think...).
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 03 2019

       Well, a metal flute is a woodwind instrument.   

       They'd be made out of fireproof material of course or it would be a very short concert.
doctorremulac3, Nov 03 2019

       //..flute... woodwind...//
Hmm. Hadn't thought of that. Most of your typical "woodwind" instruments have a (single or double) reed.
Again, the high speed airflow could be either an advantage or a problem, depending whether it works or not, especially if the flow goes supersonic (what IS the exhaust flow speed of a normal turbojet engine?).
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 04 2019

       It is important to note that both metal "woodwind" instruments such as flutes and saxophones, along with brass instruments like trumpets and cornets, are held together using numerous soldered joints, and if exposed to even modest heating (by, for example, filling them with warm Sambuca and igniting it) have an alarming tendency to self-disassemble in a very rapid, permanent and above all expensive way.
8th of 7, Nov 04 2019

       Might just need a new category of instruments. Just "turbojet flute", "turbojet clarinet", "turbojet oboe".   

       Could be brass instruments as well. Turbojet trumpet, tuba etc. It doesn't share the vibration creation mechanism of any of these so I think you'd just have to call it what it is. The turbojet section.   

       So you've now got strings, percussion, woodwinds, brass and turbojet.
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       Don't forget "cannon" if you want to play the 1812.
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 04 2019

       Absolutely, that would be covered by the percussion section.   

       Which I would purposefully mispronounce as the concussion section.
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       Can you explain in more detail how the sone (the standing wave in the column of air) is formed? How is the turbojet exhaust managed and channelled to form a smooth laminar air flow?
pocmloc, Nov 04 2019

       There's no laminar flow when it comes out of the jet, it's a mess, but waves form fitting into the particular space. They bounce off X size space, go back into the tube in the other direction and again bounce off of X size space further down the tube at the same frequency. When you blow into a whistle you're taking the air and causing it to vibrate by its oscillation after hitting the split of the whistle slot at the mouthpiece. The size of the tube after that, which is changed by opening and closing the air release holes, determines the length of the wave and the note.   

       The oscillation for this is provided by the turbine. That's the sound you hear. This oscillation is tuned by the size or length of the resonating chamber.   

       I believe the multi frequency mess you're blowing into this thing would create waves forms shaped by the resonating chamber, similar to when you blow across the top of a bottle. Small bottle, higher pitch. Big jug, lower pitch.   

       I put an extremely boring link up showing how flutes work. You'd get the same effect with jet power as you would with whistle power.
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       In that case it shouldn't be called a turbojet powered woodwind instrument; it should be perhaps called a tuned turbojet?
pocmloc, Nov 04 2019

       For sale: Boeing 747-400. Single octave. Low mileage. Tuned to the key of C Major.
st3f, Nov 04 2019

       //it should be perhaps called a tuned turbojet?//   

       Sure, works for me.   

       //For sale: Boeing 747-400. Single octave. Low mileage. Tuned to the key of C Major.//   

       Next flight I take I'll be trying to figure out what note it's playing.   

       I already note when the second engine starts up and you get that weird phase interplay as one torques up to the approximate speed of the other.
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       Actually, a four-prop piston-engined aircraft can produce some fascinating low-frequency beats and harmonics.   

       "Symphony for Lancaster and B-17" would probably be a sellout.
8th of 7, Nov 04 2019

       We just lost another B-17 in a crash recently, and the next time we have the airshow in town that sells B-24 and B- 17 rides for $450 and I don't take it I will really need to do some soul searching about my priorities. "No no, I'm putting my daughter through college, I need to be thrifty!" Ugh, what's the matter with me?   

       I already missed to the opportunity to take the local Zeppelin company's sight seeing tour of the Bay Area.   

doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       Shoot! (see link)
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       Your link is inaccessible from the EU, for some reason, [doc].   

       //Tuned to the key of C Major// I'm not sure, but I strongly suspect that all forms of jet engine are engineered not to have a resonant frequency.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 04 2019

       [MaxwellBuchanan] it's a rotating shaft; of course it has a resonant frequency. Typically it is much much higher than the normal operating conditions (at least for the rotating things I've worked with).
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 04 2019

       (Max) The headline is: "B-17 Crash Signals Changes For Vintage Airplane Rides".   

       So next time you get a chance, these won't be around forever.
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2019

       //"Symphony for Lancaster and B-17" would probably be a sellout.//   

       I'd be there.   

       So they'd cover your bass notes, then get the Rolls Royce Merlin engines with your P-51s and Spitfires for your upper registers.
doctorremulac3, Nov 05 2019

       At some point in the quest for volume, it must be simpler just to create a cochlear implant capable of operating in the kV range.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2019

       [-] Because, bagpipes.
bigsleep, Nov 06 2019

       I am 100% anti bagpipes! Ask 8, it's the only thing we agree on! I demand a retrial!   

       See link.
doctorremulac3, Nov 06 2019

       //warm sambuca and igniting it//   

       Not the first thing you think of when you pick up a saxophone. That probably applies to other instruments too.
Frankx, Nov 06 2019

       It's more a case of what you think of when you've already drunk quite a bit of warm sambuca, then tried setting fire to it in saucers and ashtrays with modest success but undramatic consequences, and then become enamoured with the possibility of a human-powered musical flame blunderbuss.
8th of 7, Nov 06 2019

       Now that would be worth trying with bagpipes!
Frankx, Nov 06 2019


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