h a l f b a k e r y
Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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Standing in line at the bank and your long crazy ring tone drives everyone crazy. Better if your phone can guess because it hasn't switched cells for a few minutes that your in line somewhere and a single short ring would be much more polite.
Surely some cell has such an application. In Japan
where they hire people to push others into trains, a bozo with "smoke on the water" ringtone would get very nasty looks.
And fire in the sky.
||The ringer could be muted quite effectively if
the other customers combined to insert the
offending communications device entirely
within on of the owner's body cavities, the
choice of which being determined by the
offensiveness and duration of the ringtone.
||However, it is unlikely that bank staff or
security guards will be inclined to remain
passive while such an event is perpetrated;
perhaps they could hold the victim's legs, or
||This might also boost the market for smaller
cellular phones with a somewhat different
form factor to the large screen models
currently in vogue.