h a l f b a k e r y
"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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If youve ever dealt with network security (hackers, firewalls, viruses and so on), you know there is one ultimate trump card in an emergency: cut the cord! If a worm is running loose on your network, or a DoS attack is killing your server, sometimes it is just best to unplug from the Internet entirely
until the problem is resolved.
Of course in a small network this is easy to do manually. But in a larger network the critical cable might be several floors away, hidden in the back of cluttered wiring closet.
And what if you are not on-site? You may have just gotten notice of the problem via a remote monitoring device on your pager, and nobody is in the office at this hour to unplug it. Seconds can count in emergencies!
For this device, a tiny electrically operated guillotine would be connected to a dedicated phone line. The critical cable is then threaded through the guillotine. When a problem occurs, you call the connected phone, punch in a security code, and the guillotine is fired through the cable, severing it. As confirmation on the phone line, a female voice with a French accent would say, Let them eat cake!
Obviously, less fanciful versions that didnt involve a guillotine could be designed for boring corporate types to buy.
(Still) the Ultimate Firewall
one security expert's idea [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
What is a DoS attack?
[krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
It cuts a cigarette (or the T1 line), but not your finger.
It's Maaaaaaagic. [Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Home version, includes timer
Aug 13 2004: Here's another home version, that also includes a feature to automatically cut it off at a given time of day. [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
||This should stop Spam, too. I'll take it!
||"Ce n'est pas le mot de passe. Au revoir." *click*
||The firewall machine will need a
gas supply (or maybe just a little
bottle of butane) so that when the
cord is cut a mini "wall of fire" can
spring up on top of the machine to
alert everyone to what has
||Cool I can see brute force dialers at work now trying to figure out the code to cut your T1 (or other broadband connection)
You could have a passcode lockout, but then a good hacker would lockout your account on the disconnect line right before attacking your network. Or you could always use caller ID verrification, but I here there are ways around that, and you would always have to call from the same phone..
I still give it a plus for creativity and humor..
||Everyday I'm more amazed at how people will take some easy mechanical action and turn it into a complicated, dangerous, and unsecure electronic one. If the "guillotine" was a part of a separate dedicated circuit, or just held up by a pin on a string, hackers couldn't reach it and make you shave yourself rather close.