Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Under-the-thumb Hat

Worn by way of an explanation by men who would love to succumb to temptation, but are not allowed.
  [vote for,

Bob dragged his sagging middle-aged ass into the bar stool and ordered his usual shot of wild turkey. It had been another soul-destroying day at the factory, and he felt stale and numb. What he needed was a pick-me-up. Another hour, and he'd be home with the family.

What if he didn't go home? What if he broke free from his marital shackles, and headed off into the sunset, like a rather butch Thelma or Louise? He'd be in big trouble, that's what. His teenage kids would have nobody to be sarcastic towards, and his wife, rather than slowly wearing him down like water over rock, would store up a thunderstorm of complains to break over his head when he got home.

"Cheer up Bob," Randy called down the bar. "Things can't be that bad!" Randy was recently promoted and recently divorced. Bob imagined that life must be good for Randy.

"Hey Bob, we're going bowling in a while. Maybe have a few beers. Whadda ya think?" Bob stole a glance at his worn out leather bowling bag gathering dust on the glass shelf behind the bar.

"Well, you know I'd love to come along boys," Bob rolled his eyes towards the ludicrously comical 3D thumb stuck on the top of his hat, "but I guess I'd better not." Hats and thumbs bobbed up and down wistfully around the jaded bar, and one by one the guys supped up and slunk home.

Fishrat, Aug 08 2004


       Love it, have you got a piccy?
scubadooper, Aug 08 2004

       I could never do it like Bristolz...
Fishrat, Aug 08 2004

       what are you doing in the pub in the first place when you should be mowing the lawn?   

       get that stupid hat off!
po, Aug 08 2004

       <surreptitiously pulls down the Under-the-thumb hat earmuff attachments and continues to nod.>
Fishrat, Aug 08 2004

       Actually, I thought these under-the-thumb signifiers came in the form of metal bands worn on our third fingers. But, yeah, croissant anyway.
DrCurry, Aug 08 2004

       <mouths> "big girls' blouse" </mouths>
po, Aug 08 2004

       I laughed till I stopped. [+]
destructionism, Aug 08 2004

       Can the other guys wear "footloose" shoes?
wagster, Aug 08 2004

       Perhaps a 'wrapped around her little finger' scarf for winter?
RayfordSteele, Aug 08 2004

       Exceptionally good quality. [Fishrat]
gnomethang, Aug 08 2004

       I'm all thumbs today.   

       //I laughed till I stopped.// I laughed until po told me to stop.
Fishrat, Aug 09 2004

       Randy stared after Bob wistfully, wondering how long it would take before he would find out about the reason for his recent divorce, the long term affair he was having with Bob's wife, and the fact that he was the real father of Bob's teenage children.
Helium, Aug 09 2004

       Easier to get a ball and chain, no?
phoenix, Aug 09 2004

       I have a very strange yet fascinating visual of the hat in my mind, especially after you brought the earmuffs into the picture, [Fishrat].
Machiavelli, Aug 09 2004


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