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Universal Axe

 Three axes in one.
  (+17, -2)(+17, -2)
(+17, -2) 		  [vote for,
against]

When fully folded, the instrument is a Maniacal Axe (what people used to cut wood with.) The axe-head, consisting of two identical hinged portions, unfolds to produce a two-edged traditional battle-axe. Finally, the handle telescopes outward to produce an Executioner's Axe when the need for such arises.
—dsm, Sep 15 2001

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       I see you have reached the 'Anger' stage
—thumbwax, Sep 15 2001
   

       dammit - there has to be some sort of pun on axe... I just can't think of it...
—RobertKidney, Sep 15 2001
   

       axe it - stage left ?
—po, Sep 15 2001
   

       Your cleavage is showing.
—phoenix, Sep 15 2001
   

       axe not what your country can do for you--axe what you can do for your country.
—thumbwax, Sep 15 2001
   

       Axe of random violence.
—The Military, Sep 16 2001
   

       Ya betta axe somebody, ya dig?
I'm bored, I've been sitting on my axe at work all day, so I'm gonna run this in the ground
—AfroAssault, Sep 16 2001
   

       Unlike the rest of you dumbaxes, I have a constructive comment: you couldn't take the thing on a plane.   

       It's true. I've axed around.
—1percent, Sep 18 2001
   

       Add strings and pickup on the handle, plug it into an amp, and you've got a four-way axe.
—bookworm, Sep 18 2001
   

       Well, that's ax-iomatic.
—pottedstu, Feb 04 2002
   

       Axe me if I care.
—Crazy Bastard, Jul 08 2002
   

       Oh yeah, axe of random violence was good :-D   

       Control-Axe?
—Crazy Bastard, Jul 08 2002
   

       Who axed you?
—Crazy Bastard, Jul 13 2002
   

       If you added some other stuff, like a bottle opener and one of those spiky things for getting stones out of horses hooves, you could market the thing as a Swiss army axe...
—briandamage, Jul 14 2002
   

       ooh ooh! "If I have to axe you one mo' time, you's a dead mofo!"
—Crazy Bastard, Jul 21 2002
   

       ooh ooh! "If I have to axe you one mo' time, you's a dead mofo!"
—Crazy Bastard, Jul 21 2002
   

       You could inscribe a witty saying on the handle, and it would be an Axe-iom.
—ye_river_xiv, Nov 03 2006
   

       The jokes on this page are just bad, bad, bad. I didn't know there were that many people like me out there!
—andrewbee, Apr 08 2010
   

       Huge Ian: Do you like my Universal Axe, Small Ian?
Small Ian: Yes, but please - You have to be really careful with that axe...Huge Ian.
—zen_tom, Apr 08 2010
   


 

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