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Use Zombies to defeat global warming

the ultimate power source
  (+4, -5)
(+4, -5)
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Zombies. Tireless, not even death itself can stop them. The limitless endurance and tenacity to chase after living things could be easily harnessed. To be honest this idea was inspired by the earthquake rescue zombies, using this tenacity to dig through rubble to find survivors. But why risk ever letting them reach the survivor, or even leaving the power plant?

An army of undead made to push on generator wheels should be good for 50~100W each, but due to the economies of scale, a geared generator of size that at least 50 people would need to push on should be good for way more than 5kw. drop 75 or 100 zombies on it, done.

AutoMcDonough, Mar 09 2010

Infinite energy from Vampires Infinite_20energy_20from_20Vampires
A similiar idea using vampires [ldischler, Mar 11 2010]


       I don't believe it's a fact that zombies don't get tired! I'm thinking this is kind of a (stupid) magical idea. I won't m-f-d because I don't know enough about the subject...
xandram, Mar 09 2010

       well, I assume you would need to toss them some biomass to keep the wheel turning. Maybe some farm animal rejects, murderers, etc.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 09 2010

       You'd understand if you'd ever tasted zombie.
normzone, Mar 09 2010

       The endurance and tenacity of zombies is actually not limitless, for while death cannot stop them, decay can.   

       A body that has completely necrotized is obviously no longer a zombie. Measures taken to preserve the flesh may or may not work, as studies on zombie chemistry are somewhat scarce, but it is fairly clear that anything which alters the flexibility of the flesh would also alter the mobility of the zombie.   

       Zombie tenacity may also be called into question, as most reports state that a zombie is not significantly stronger than a human, and possibly quite slower.   

       All of these issues can be readily dealt with, however, your idea still suffers, because it has been done before, and the HB can usually only stomach one zombie idea at a time.
ye_river_xiv, Mar 09 2010

       100W isn't much, but it could be used to, say, charge the batteries on an electric vehicle. Like zomboni.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 09 2010

       I'm sure that as zombies decompose they would emit methane and other greenhouse (or should that be slaughterhouse) gases.
Aristotle, Mar 10 2010

       I suppose there is some logic in using zombies to rectify global warming, after all it is the brain dead that are causing it in the first place. Ok - first catch your zombie.
xenzag, Mar 10 2010

       //zombie rights groups//
coprocephalous, Mar 10 2010

       This is just an 'energy from a gymnasium' idea isn't it? Thinly disguised with a respectable veneer of undead brain eaters.
DrBob, Mar 10 2010

       [+] very much so.   

       you could trade your car in for a zombie-powered cart controlled by a brain dangling from a stick suspended just out of the zombie's reach...   

       Based on 100W continuous, you would of course need 2-3 undead on the home zombie-wheel.   

       So now... where do we get all the brains necessary to keep the zombies going ?
FlyingToaster, Mar 10 2010

       A question that arises in my mind is this. How do zombies detect brains exactly? Is it by scent, radar, body heat, voodoo magic? Once we've cracked that problem then we could probably manufacture 'artificial' brains which might be something as simple as a stick that smells of brains. This would do away with the need for actual, real brains.
DrBob, Mar 10 2010

       Not really relevant in this case since buckets of brain matter would just kind get dropped on them, but you might want to bring that up over in the "rescue zombies" since locating victims would be important.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 10 2010

       // Thinly disguised with a respectable veneer of undead brain eaters //   

       That should be marked for something or other out of sheer hilarity.
RayfordSteele, Mar 10 2010

       //how do zombies detect brains ?//
Smell of cerebro-spinal fluid (which is what they're really after).
FlyingToaster, Mar 10 2010

       I have envisioned such a device, to be depicted in a post-zombie apocalypse town like the fortress town in Mad Max. Harnessed zombies would turn a wheel to generate electricity. On a chair attached to the wheel ahead of the foremost zombies would be a young actress, who would serve as the carrot on a stick. The electricity generated could be used to power lights, which would flicker when the city dwellers used the electricity as a tesla-type lightning weapon to repel zombies and others assaulting the gate.   

       The free energy aspect of this is addressed with the realization that zombies are powered by the caloric heat of Hell.
bungston, Mar 10 2010

       bungston, what I envision in that regard is sort of a moat surrounding the compound that is a trench they would fall into, then meander into the power generator which is sunk down another level which they lack the dexterity to climb out of. Basically zombies automatically get funneled into the device. I have not devised a method to clear out the ones which are no longer producing energy, as this dead weight would reduce efficiency and possibly fill the pit with enough bodies that they would spill out of the trap. Maybe just routinely purge it with a flamethrower when you see a new wave of them approaching.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 10 2010

       A lot would depend on whether the zombie was more polluting than the base individual it was made from, when that individual was alive.
Aristotle, Mar 11 2010

       This is a silly idea.   

       What we need is Zombie Zombies - because once we've made loads of zombies to solve our immediate problems, it wont be long before we subsequently realise that we've got a whole bunch of zombies roaming around with nothing to do. This is where the zombie zombies come in. They roam around, and when they find a zombie, they eat it. Given enough Zombie Zombies, any outbreak of panzombiism can be effectively controlled.
zen_tom, Mar 11 2010

       //Harnessed zombies would turn a wheel //

Why bother with the hazardous work of harnessing them? Couldn't you just set up a series of turnstiles at all the entrances to the compound. These could be set up to act like turbines as the sea of zombies flows through them?

//when they find a zombie, they eat it//

What!? Are you really advocating zombie cannibalism? That's just immoral!
DrBob, Mar 11 2010

       If zombies ate eachother, that certainly would reduce the formation of hazardous numbers.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 11 2010

       wotcha need to do is train vultures from birth to eat zombie meat.
FlyingToaster, Mar 11 2010

       Do I have to say * zombie orrery*?????
xandram, Mar 11 2010

       well to prevent an uprising you could appoint diplomats to help them accustom to working conditions, we need people who are half dead zombies like ozzy sobourne, keith richards, etc.   

       Why use zombies to contact the caloric hellfires? just create an interdimensional gate for a geothermal pump and we're set!
Arcanus, Mar 11 2010

       //Do I have to say * zombie orrery*?????// Apparently, you do. Is it some form of Tourette's?
mouseposture, Mar 12 2010

       3. It's the magic number.
DrBob, Mar 12 2010

       7 especially since it 8 9.
rcarty, Mar 12 2010

       lol, I suppose according to regulation "1 or more" qualifies, but what I had in mind is that as long as you can deal with them one at a time then you will not be overwhelmed. A dense mob of them is of course quite a serious situation.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 12 2010

       Well quite. Especially if you are in, say, a lift with a maximum capacity of 8 persons. You are then not only in imminent danger of zombification but also of being dropped rather precipitously from a great height and being crushed in a tangled heap of metal, oily cables and semi-decayed bodies.
DrBob, Mar 12 2010


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