Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Very, very long cigarettes

Cheat the tax man *and* find a use for your 'ski-flap'
  [vote for,

Although I don't smoke, I find the way the government (particularly in the UK) sees fit to charge so much duty on cigarettes irritating

The duty is obviously charged per cigarette, rather than as a percentage of purchase price, so I propose to market a mega-long cigarette 20 times the length of a standard one, which would feature alternating filters and tobacco, and would have perforations for easy detachment. Since it is only one cigarette I am selling, the duty ought to be only 5% of the normal duty on a pack of 20.

The hyperfag (tm) would need a protective plastic tube and would probably weigh in at around 2 meters in length. However, I bet I could charge half the price of a normal pack of 20 and still make a profit, since well over half the retail price is duty!

semi-panaderos, Feb 25 2003

UK Tobacco duty http://www.hmce.gov...ertaxes/tobacco.htm
Cigarette taxation is 22% of RRP, plus GBP 94.24 per thousand (1.88 per 20). Thus, if longer cigarettes cost more, the duty will be more. [pottedstu, Oct 17 2004]


       (an interesting point) quote from the Lord's Hansard - March 2001 - "One in three smokers is now buying his cigarettes from illegal sources. Some evidence came from cigarette packets found on the terraces of football grounds. For example, last season 41 per cent of packets found at Ipswich after one match were non-duty packets."
po, Feb 25 2003

       Is there some explanation for the sudden spate of smoking-related ideas?
krelnik, Feb 25 2003

       Yes I saw that show (big P&T fan from way back) and I found it quite interesting. I didn't realize that the so-called "scientific basis" for second hand smoke laws was actually so tenuous.
krelnik, Feb 25 2003

       Dimandja (what's an acceptable short form for that, btw... don't wanna call you Dim without asking), I'm not sure that a couple of magicians with a show called "Bullshit!" is what I'd consider an authoratitive source of information on the matter.
waugsqueke, Feb 25 2003

madradish, Feb 26 2003

       ...and a comedian to spot bullshit.
egbert, Feb 26 2003

       6 out of 7 halfbakers fail to correct the misspelled names of famous comedians Penn and Teller.
roby, Feb 26 2003

       Hey, that's my assertion. If roby's not using it, I'll take it back!
egbert, Feb 26 2003

       do bees even have a sense of humor?
half, Feb 26 2003

       Do you mean assertively?
egbert, Feb 26 2003

       [egbert] someone else can assert as assertively as possible the assertion that P&T are or aren't actual comedians.
Now that I think about it, I thought they were magicians.
I was obviously distracted by UnaBubbas distracting distraction about scientists and comedians. At least I got the spelling write.
roby, Feb 26 2003

       Or so (s)he asserts.   

       I think the magic is a vehicle for the comedy. Or vice versa .   

       Anyway, bad idea. Smoking yada yada yada. You'd need a paper the thickness if toilet roll tube and lips like a Masai to cantilever the weight of the thing. Unless you had a Dr Seuss type wheel supporting the end.
egbert, Feb 26 2003

       Penn & Teller are the perfect people to do a show about bullshit, because they have long admitted that they are professional liars. Who better to spot bullshit than a professional bullshitter?   

       Seriously though, if you haven't seen one of their stage shows, you might be surprised at the depth of the content in them. Topics like libertarianism, the nature of religion and more are touched upon amongst the knife throwing and fake blood. One of their more recent tricks contains a quite eloquent discussion about "honor systems" and what they mean. It makes for a very interesting mix.   

       [roby] P&T don't usually refer to themselves as magicians or comedians, but rather "two guys who know a few cool tricks."
krelnik, Feb 28 2003

       Indeed, they're known for (among other things) de-bunking "magic."
snarfyguy, Feb 28 2003

       "How many cigarettes have you had today, dear?"   

       "Just one."
RayfordSteele, Mar 02 2003


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