h a l f b a k e r y
"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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Burial services in highly developed metropolitan areas of
the US can range $10K or more, doubling said
amount for a meaningful headstone worthy of the
deceased. As one gets older, one cannot help but notice
numerous adverts pushing insurance so as not to burden
ones loved ones, buy plots before
they get to expensive,
etc, etc, etc.
But let's face it, we know the dead do not care. And
is a segment of the population that appears to enjoy all
manners of barbarism that they can inflict upon dead
bodies. And who really doesn't have some sworn enemy,
someone who doesn't want to fuck with your skull, or
whatever floats their boat?
Enter the Sworn Enemy Burial Service. Deliver the body
the sworn enemy (hopefully) upon expiration, and not
will you save the $10k to $20K expense of disposing of
what is essentially a high priced volume of dust, but you
might actually make a bit of money on the side, while
satisfying all manner of blood thirsty urges in the
And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
The Nikita Version
[theircompetitor, Aug 12 2014]
||//And who really doesn't have some sworn enemy//
||<slowly raises hand while glancing nervously around the room>
||Maybe there's a market in perinecrotourism.
||If you know you're reaching the point where the
bathwater of your life is about to swirl down the
plughole of eternity, just book yourself a long
vacation in some far-flung country and, upon arrival,
burn all your identifying documents.
||I presume it is not necessary, in this esteemed
organ, to point out the direction of swirling depends
on the shape of your sink, the geometry of the
drain, and how the water was disturbed prior to de-
||It depends on hemisphere only if you (a) have an
exceptionally large sink (large enough to boat in, for
example) and (b) go to great lengths not to disturb
the water in any way.