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Vi Vill Burry You

The Sworn Enemy Burial Service
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Burial services in highly developed metropolitan areas of the US can range $10K or more, doubling said amount for a meaningful headstone worthy of the deceased. As one gets older, one cannot help but notice numerous adverts pushing insurance so as not to burden ones loved ones, buy plots before they get to expensive, etc, etc, etc.

But let's face it, we know the dead do not care. And there is a segment of the population that appears to enjoy all manners of barbarism that they can inflict upon dead bodies. And who really doesn't have some sworn enemy, someone who doesn't want to fuck with your skull, or whatever floats their boat?

Enter the Sworn Enemy Burial Service. Deliver the body to the sworn enemy (hopefully) upon expiration, and not only will you save the $10k to $20K expense of disposing of what is essentially a high priced volume of dust, but you might actually make a bit of money on the side, while satisfying all manner of blood thirsty urges in the deceased's enemies.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

theircompetitor, Aug 12 2014

The Nikita Version http://en.wikipedia...ki/We_will_bury_you
[theircompetitor, Aug 12 2014]

[link]






       //And who really doesn't have some sworn enemy//   

       <slowly raises hand while glancing nervously around the room>   

       Maybe there's a market in perinecrotourism.   

       If you know you're reaching the point where the bathwater of your life is about to swirl down the plughole of eternity, just book yourself a long vacation in some far-flung country and, upon arrival, burn all your identifying documents.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 17 2014
  

       I presume it is not necessary, in this esteemed organ, to point out the direction of swirling depends on the shape of your sink, the geometry of the drain, and how the water was disturbed prior to de- plugging.   

       It depends on hemisphere only if you (a) have an exceptionally large sink (large enough to boat in, for example) and (b) go to great lengths not to disturb the water in any way.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 17 2014
  
      
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