Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."

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W.A.K.E.U.P.

Windows Alien Klaxon Emitting Undesirable Porridge
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A USB device, it emits copious amounts of cold porridge together with a warning alarm should any extra terrestrials attempt to abduct you while you sleep.

Well, cold porridge deters most intelligent life...

Have a feeling it defies gravity too, so could form an impenetrable shield over the user.

Of course, various skins would be available via Windowsupdate.com (cold milk skin, custard skin etc.)

Skybird, Dec 30 2000

Portable Bernard Bresslaw http://www.halfbake...0Bernard_20Bresslaw
You can conclude, if the PBB is there when you awake, the aliens have finished their evil work and have returned him home with no memory of the events. [reensure, Dec 30 2000]

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       Warn of Any Killers Eating Uncle Patrick
badoingdoing, Dec 30 2000
  

       I've heard of porridge guns before, but with a rather different meaning (and if you don't know what I'm talking about then just don't ask!).
DrBob, Jan 02 2001
  

       [DrBob] I don't think those come with a klaxon. Er, then again...
phoenix, Nov 05 2001
  

       Boy do I wish I had this device last time I was abducted... Tried oatmeal but it failed... And the USB part I can use it with my laptop when not sleeping at home with my desktop computer...
forgeman, Sep 30 2002
  
      
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