Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Weighted Kilts

Stop this troublesome flapping.
  [vote for,

Kilts are wonderful. They give a degree of freedom that is unmatched, and they are extremely cool (in more ways than one). But there's that "wind" problem. The solution? Ball bearings in the hem. Wear a belt and there won't be any problem with it falling down, either.
Eugene, Jun 10 2004

(?) *this* wind problem, [po] http://www.coolmen....div_bilder/kilt.jpg
is this the most-linked image in the halfbakery yet? [calum, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Try these http://www.scottsof...gnTableclothWeights
Solid pewter tablecloth weights, with a grape design. [angel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Utilikilts http://www.utilikil...g-workman-index.htm
This is what I'm thinking about buying. [Eugene, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

PCC Film School http://www.pccfilm.com
The school I'm currently enrolled at. [Eugene, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       I think you've just invented a brand new Scottish weapon!
simonj, Jun 10 2004

       Hai-yah! *Glug glug* ...Or is that the Irish? Nah, it's both.
Eugene, Jun 11 2004

       What troublesome flapping? I think you may be wearing a skirt [Eugene], as the sporran worn as an integral part of the kilt attire stops any troublesome flapping for me.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jun 11 2004

       wind problem?
po, Jun 11 2004

       It's fairly common practise to add weights to the bottom hems of curtains (drapes), and my mother would often weight the hems of her (home-made - she is an excellent seamstress) dresses with lead shot. This may be baked, although not, perhaps, widely known to be so.
angel, Jun 11 2004

       Kilts are pretty heavy too - I've never seen one be inadvertantly lifted by the wind (of whatever origin). Much more of a problem are the hoards of women trying to see if the wearer is a true Scotsman.
hazel, Jun 11 2004

       If your kilt is made of weapons-grade Harris tweed, as it should be, you won't need any drapery-inspired additions to it.   

       Centuries of howling gales have so far failed to establish the kilt as a Marilyn-on-a-vent style exposure liability, so weighing an already-heavy garment down with buckshot would be unnecessary.   

       Plus, you'd end up with hideously battered knees.   

       As for the "troublesome flapping", I don't think we need to go there - it's one of the drawbacks of being an unfettered true Scotsman.   

       Not to mention the chafing.
lemon tetra, Jun 11 2004

       Whoa. You mean you guys are really going commando under those kilts? I thought that was an urban myth.
lintkeeper2, Jun 11 2004

       Try wearing one in the rain...
A waterlogged kilt would allow you to walk throuh the middle of a hurricaine with no risk of lifting.
MikeOliver, Jun 11 2004

       A friend of mine got married last year and all the males were required to wear kilts. The wedding video features a heartwarming interlude where kilted attendees are seen in the background, applying Vaseline in strategic anti-chafe locations.   

       I can get you all copies, if you like.
calum, Jun 11 2004

       Eugene/calum: Um, why is that a problem? If the kilted gentlemen in question were prudish, they would wear underwear. And if they're not, you're not going to see anything you won't see in the Metropolitan Museum.   

       I am reminded of the outdoor urinals common in France.
DrCurry, Jun 11 2004

       It isn't a problem, DrC. Though you're mistaken if you believe that my genitals are on display in the Metropolitan Museum.
calum, Jun 11 2004

       no that would be the London Miniatures Museum :o) sorry Calum.
etherman, Jun 11 2004

       // Whoa. You mean you guys are really going commando under those kilts? I thought that was an urban myth. //   

       Good Lord no! Suggesting a Scotsman is cheating by wearing pants (US read underpants) under his kilt is tantamount to suggesting he's a gay mincing Englishman.   

       Trust me [lintkeeper], they go commando. Happy days!   

       Although [jonthegeologist] is entitled to wear a kilt, he informs me he won't be indulging for our wedding, which is probably just as well, knowing what my aunty gets like after a few gins.
hazel, Jun 11 2004

       entitled to wear a kilt? you learn something new here every day!   

       is it like being allowed to drive a herd of sheep across London Bridge?   

       when is the wedding and can I be a bridesmaid?   

       am I related to your aunt?   

       answers on a postcard to...
po, Jun 11 2004

       [po] he's descended from the MacLeans of Lochbuie - his granny was one - so he can wear their rather fetching tartan without risk of being accused of gross national inaccuracy. As far as I know he's never herded any sheep but I might try to find out before the wedding just to make sure.   

       The wedding will be in July 2005 and of course you'd be welcome to be a bridesmaid [po]. As long as you promise not to do anything nasty to me on my hen night, beyond encouraging me to drink another G&T from time to time! [jon] says you can go on his stag night if you prefer, but if you're much like my aunty you'll drink him under the table.
hazel, Jun 11 2004

       weighing up which would be more fun! get back to you!   

       where will neilp be? that might sway my answer...
po, Jun 11 2004

       Well I'm rather thinking of going on the stag night if I'm honest. I always get on better with groups of lads than girls. With a bit of luck, [neilp] will be off with the boys. Assuming he makes it back from Australia in time.
hazel, Jun 11 2004

       I'm pretty sure I'm not a Scot. I may have some in my ancestry, but it's more likely to be Irish, with my mother's maiden name being "Gill" and all.   

       I just like kilts. But the wind could be a problem in general, hence the idea. Thing is, with all the stuff I'd be carrying in those pockets (Gerber, wallet, keys, flashlight, and possibly gloves, a hammer, screwdrivers, a drill, and so on on a film set) I probably wouldn't need the weights.
Eugene, Jun 11 2004

       Pockets? Do kilts (even Irish ones) have pockets? There's a limit to what you can fit in your sporran too I'd imagine.
hazel, Jun 12 2004

       its that cute little safety pin that attracts me to a kilt.
po, Jun 12 2004

       Are you a gaffer [Eugene], or a best boy?
simonj, Jun 12 2004

       Perhaps [PhilMcKracken] could answer that one.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jun 12 2004

       I'm in a technical film program that trains its students for below-the-line jobs--i.e. gaffer or best boy. See link. There's a school shoot every semester and you apply to be a grip or a PA or a lighting technician or what-have-you on that shoot.
Eugene, Jun 19 2004

       I was a key grip on this semester's shoot though.
Eugene, Oct 18 2004

       As a Lewis living in America, I've thought about being kilted for my (me?) wedding. But the problem is that too many of my friends aren't Scots or, at least, claimant to a clan, so I'd rather not be the only one chafing. Gonna be a tux for me, unless the rest of the McLeods here in St. Louis start taking me out for drinks.   

       If they do, I'll be wearing my (me?) tartan, but the sword should probably stay home, as I'd be likely to start showing it off and kill someone at the reception.   

       EDIT: Oh yeah...work kilts have pockets, though they're a relatively new addition to the garb. Frankly, that's cheating. Wear a spooran, you (ye?) credit-card bearing panty waists!   

       Secondly, I'd go for two weights, if only for peace of mind.
shapu, Oct 18 2004


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