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What The Burglar Sees is an idea based on the infamous penny
arcade machine called "what the butler saw".
What The Burglar Sees is a small device which comes in two parts,
that you attach to the inside of your door over the keyhole (only
works with keyholes that go all the way through to the
other side).
The device projects a totally convincing replica image of the view
on the other side of the door, except with a choice of some
included intruder deterrents. "What The Burglar Sees" is installed
by trained technicians who ensure that the view offered to anyone
who activates the apparatus by peering through the keyhole is
treated to an image so real that there is no telling it from actual
reality.
Very popular this month is the "Barbiturate Baboon". Here we see
an enraged baboon, that repeatedly runs up the hallway and flings
itself against the door with gnashing teeth. A severed arm
terminating in a gnawed stump completes the internal scene of
fear and horror. The other part of the What The Burglar Sees
device delivers the co-ordinated door thumping action via some
spring loaded mallets.
Second on the popularity charts is the "Dark Figure Crocheting in a
Corner with a Machette". In fact, What The Burglar Sees offers
numerous scenes fully customised via CGM to deliver a scene so
terrifying that no prospective burglar will make an attempt to
break in.
Letterbox version under development!
Reverse peephole viewer
https://www.google....i=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 26 2015]
Similar
Fake_20Guard_20Dog
[21 Quest, Feb 28 2015]
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Annotation:
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Art project or have you been burgled recently? |
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Centipedes kept them away! |
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Dorothy L Sayers wrote a Lord Peter Wimsey story using an
identical plot device. |
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However, [+] for the idea of an offputting CGI trompe d'oeil. |
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A couple of blokes with beards and turbans fiddling with an oil
drum, an alarm clock and a battery while a third onne oils a
Kalashnikov should give most housebreakers pause for thought. |
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Would it not be simpler to install a proximity sensor
near the keyhole, connected to a pepper spray? |
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Ha - simpler? I don't do "simpler" AND you could be sued for damages. |
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Not if the burglar can't see his way to a lawyer you
can't. |
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Actually, Sturton tried the system you propose, at his
cottage. A burglar looking through the keyhole would
see a large naked man running frantically around,
pursued by three irate French Mastiffs, and
occasionally trying to deter them with over-the-
shoulder shots from a Glock, all to the
accompaniment of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries".
But then he had the system installed. |
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I want to vote + for this. I really do but... who has keyholes you can see through? Now peepholes on the other hand let burglars see through your door just fine, [link], and this would sell like hot-cakes to apartment dwellers. |
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How about projecting the eye of a large, annoyed
eagle pressed up against the other side of the
keyhole, a la Dirk Gently? |
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You could presumably do this now by sliding your HD TV up to
the windows with the curtains slightly apart. |
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//Croutching// - it's spelled "Crocheting" |
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//who has keyholes you can see through?// My Chubb
deadlock goes all the way through, and these are very
common. |
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//- it's spelled "Crocheting// but of course.... Corrected. |
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//My Chubb deadlock goes all the way through, and these are very common// |
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Sturton favors a Glock? I expected something a little less pedestrian. |
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He certinly does, but the terms of the bet were very specific, limiting the weapon to small-calibre handguns. |
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On the plus side, he did actually win. |
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Why only burglars? It could be a peephole, without the hole. |
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//I expected something a little less pedestrian.// He
always uses the Glock when the mastiffs are being
frisky. Something about the noise of the action
seems to throw them off their stride, for some
reason. |
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Eventually, he's going to realise that you've been swapping his ammunition for non-lethal marker rounds that just sting the mastiffs but don't hurt them. |
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If there is a repetition of the soda-syphon incident after he caught your Great-Aunt Plectravia watering down his morning glass of hydraulic fluid with her rubbing alcohol, you will only have yourself to blame. No doubt she meant well, and the surgeons did their best, but it's terribly embarrassing for an elderly lady, having to wheel it around everywhere on a trolley like that. |
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//he's going to realise that you've been swapping his
ammunition for non-lethal marker rounds// |
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No no. We only did that with his AK47. And, in
fairness, he had been told several times that it wasn't
appropriate for a grouse shoot. |
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