Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Wooden Peanuts

Grind Peanuts From Wood, Sometimes
  (+6, -10)
(+6, -10)
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Seeing as though peanuts are almost made of wood, then why not ACTUALLY make peanuts FROM wood and then pack 'em in frisch-foil.

You could grind them with a soft-tungsten lathe, hand finish them with hardened toothpick-type tools, and employ a Funnel to Channel them into the frisch-foil pacquets.

Users could suck them, or folk with gum disease could updraft them into the gaps twixt gums and tooth-calc to help chafe away the pain.

Either way, peanuts of wood would not go off half so quick as conventional protein-based items. And that's provened.

eehen, Jul 09 2000

(?) Small tin of Wooden Peanuts http://www.organic-...BA-Wooden-Food.html
Scroll halfway down & order your elf a scrumptious tin for $6.00 [thumbwax, Oct 04 2004]

Hazards of simulated seeds http://www.guardian...ors-sunflower-seeds
Let's be careful out there. [MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010]


       I've read this for two days, and it still doesn't make any sense. Does anyone have any idea what he's talking about?
StarChaser, Jul 09 2000

       My best guess is that he doesn't like peanuts. Specifically, he thinks they taste like wood. So, he sarcastically suggests making them out of real wood.   

       I'm not sure I understand "Credit Card Monkey" either, and his Web site confuses me. But, unlike certain other posters, I do get the sense that there's something there, it's just that he doesn't speak quite the same English I do...
egnor, Jul 09 2000

       According to the art of Feng Schwee, you have to be facing North to experience true umami. But I don't know how that applies to Goober Peas, as I've never heard of them (cultural wide berth). I hope they don't harm the Goobers when they extract them.   

       As I recall, Uncle Remus did successfully market a wooden peanut playkit in the 1970s.
kimble, Jul 10 2000

       I believe that there is, indeed, some wisdom here, yet it's between the lines, within the creases and beneath the wooden (nut-wood, of course) stairs. I have a chessboard made from almonds (the white squares, that is. The black squares are of another matter) and keep it in a sandwhich bag.
harquin, Jul 10 2000

       Hey, at least we don't need to worry about people suffering from peanut allergy with these wooden ones.
Toss, Jul 10 2000

       Hey, HEY! Isn't Peanuts called Snoopy over here?
monkeyking, Jul 10 2000

       Of course, with wooden peanuts, if u take them with a laxative and bend over....u get a machine gun effect!........sorry:-)
RISK, Jul 12 2000

       I think the solution here is that he's had a terribly traumatic experience with the digestion of peanuts at one point, so he concludes to make indigesible ones....and as for the advantage of long-lasting freshness from your bag of wooden peanuts, who is worried about peanuts going bad anyway?
fiore, Oct 08 2000

       They do go bad...I had a can of Spanish peanuts that reeked me out of the room once...slimy, bad-smelling, and kind of brownish red...
StarChaser, Oct 09 2000

       Move over, Stinkymeat(.com)! Here comes something nuttier!
centauri, Oct 09 2000

       <grins> I didn't do that on purpose...
StarChaser, Oct 12 2000

       Bravo! Excellent idea, sir. I just hope that I never get gum disease.
Vance, Feb 05 2001

       Feng shui?
bristolz, Nov 12 2002

       I think he's comparing peanut shell material to wood.   

       They are quite similar.   

       Would these be safer than ceramic sunflower seeds?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010

       <going for the easy ones this morning...>   

       Safer? I didn't realize safety was an issue here. I thought it was about flavor. I'll take the wood, thanks.
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010

       (Who knew?) Didn't I say I'll take the wood?
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010

       [Max] Did you catch this, from your link?:   

       "...100m individually handmade porcelain replicas of seeds."   

Boomershine, Oct 15 2010

       Not only hand made, but hand painted.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2010

       If you submitted that idea here, someone would mark -it-for-impossible.
Boomershine, Oct 15 2010


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