h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
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As a person who can't hold a ruler for long without "twoinging" it over a table edge, I must applaud this idea [+]. |
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You may play the 4 by 4 plywood trumpet. |
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gawd, I hate that tingly feeling. |
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What shall we play for you? |
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Brilliant. First performance should be the Super Mario Theme. |
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a repeat of last night's serenade? |
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A serenade you say?.."a 1 a 2 a 3.." |
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(How many rulers would you need to replace the instruments that make up a philharmonic orchestra?) |
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we shall now hear a fine rendition of
Steve Reich's minimalist master-piece
"The Clapping Music" played for us
tonight using a mixture of metric and
imperial measure rulers applied to
graffitied school desk tops. This will be
followed by the Ball-Point Pen clicking
sonata in A flat, accompanied by the
Bra-Strap Twangers. + |
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Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Minuet in 5"#
tap-tap-tap {hush}... |
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For sheer instrumenting power, one can scarcely better a carpenter's folding ruler. When strummed it sounds like a soulful tuning fork. |
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Can I play the 'Big Bass Ruler'? |
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that'd be a yard stick you have there [Jin'] |
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Bagsy a ruler wind section. |
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There are a couple of women from the percussion section that I fancy. It's too bad they're all nuns. |
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There's a serious instrument called the Daxophone that operates on the same principles as the old "ruler off a table". It sounds excellent, and I'd love an ensemble of them. |
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"In 1971, plastics engineer and pioneering instrument designer Boob Mog introduced the world to the Plastic Ruler, giving rulerists around the world a completely new canvas of sounds to work with." - excerpt from 'Rulers and Desks, a view from the 20th century sproinging scene' |
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//Boob Mog//
Pronounced, of course, "Bowb Moog" |
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...give 'em an inch and let there be music.+ |
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Reverberation is what just about what every other talent deaf band thrives on in the first place. No bun for you! |
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...and then there was Crazy Don, the nutjob artist of the family, who played an electric protractor in a band on Thursday nights. Thursdays, because Star Trek TNG came on on Fridays. |
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It's weird, it's fun, it's sort of mathy. I'll bun it. |
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