Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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A musical instrument that plays Trump's speeches in the tones you set it to
  (+1, -9)(+1, -9)
(+1, -9)
  [vote for,

Good for anybody's voice, but I suppose the first clients will be those who fondly remember and miss his daily speeches.

It looks like a trumpet, controlled with MIDI by the buttons, and through a mouthpiece serves as an electronic wind instrument (an EWI) giving added emphasis or slight voice changes.

A better version would also divide the speech into syllables and play each syllable with each new note you play.

An advanced version could catch your rhythm and play out the words in time to your tune.

This is a musical instrument, to be played in real-time, and not an app that creates the wave file by connecting the notes and the speech.


pashute, Feb 09 2021

Similar ? _22Mom_20and_20Dad_...is_20is_20Chasey_22
[normzone, Feb 10 2021]

Jack Black Plays Sax-A-Boom https://www.youtube...watch?v=x7_DmH8qC_0
Youtube video. [DrBob, Feb 10 2021]

Limmy's Swearing Xylophone https://daftlimmy.g...Swearing-Xylophone/
Do I need to put an NSFW on this? Isn't that implied by the name? [calum, Feb 10 2021]


       Next up: Trumphole, prosthetic buttocks that trumps when you squeeze it. etc...
pocmloc, Feb 09 2021

       Only you could find something more annoying than a vuvuzela.
RayfordSteele, Feb 09 2021

       Next up, "Bidenpipes" ... a constant, annoying, pointless droning.
8th of 7, Feb 09 2021

       Come on, man ...
pertinax, Feb 09 2021

       That's a great one!! 8th.   

       Since there's no way to Like annotations, I upvoted your aboption idea.
pashute, Feb 09 2021

       And to @Rayford for alerting me to the fact that my ideas are mostly annoying. I upvoted A cold day for a kiddie pool. And I'm sorry for any annoyance I cause.
pashute, Feb 09 2021

       Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness.   

       Never negotiate - same thing. If you're in a strong position, you can just demand - and get - what you want. Only the weak - or those lacking resolve - seek to negotiate.   

       Never explain.   

       And don't forget Rule Nine.
8th of 7, Feb 09 2021

       I'm all in favour of converting The Gump into something useful [+]
xenzag, Feb 09 2021

       I'm ribbing you, pashute for the purpose of the joke. Take no offense. But I am hoping that we can be past the Trump idea era...   

       Rule Nine: never agree with 8th. It's a sign of primitive animalism.
RayfordSteele, Feb 09 2021

       //Never negotiate//   

       You're just not very good at it, are you?
pertinax, Feb 10 2021

       "resistance is futile" is a pretty bad way to get people to agree to be assimilated. Even if diplomacy is not necessary it could certainly have been helpful. In this way the Borg are depicted as acting pretty stupid.   

       At least they could have tried tricking their way onboard first.
Voice, Feb 10 2021

       //agree to be assimilated// Apart from my nagging doubts that this is all a euphamism (arse-immolated? Assynt-oleated? sin-elated?) I think this explains a lot.   

       Consider. "resistance is futile" - i.e. if you don't wish to be arse-immolated, it doesn't matter.   

       Therefore the overall demographic of people who become Assynt-oleated will include a general balance of people who are in favour of it and people who are not.   

       Quite possibly there will be a greater preponderance of individuals not in favour, otherwise there would be less need to constantly explain the working principle "resistance is futile"/ Like how you have a sign in a municipal car-park saying "no ball games" but much less often "no Ancient Greek hoplite drilling", this tells you the kinds of activities that are more common.   

       Therefore, we have a situation where individuals who don't agree with the idea of being sin-elated, nonetheless becoming part of a collective, and therefore having equal weight into the collective decision making and policy guidance and third-party interaction protocols and other kinds of collective responsibility and governance procedures.   

       Is it then no wonder that the collective of grumpy un-co-operative individuals, with sore buttocks, behave in such a socially disfunctional, juevenile and frankly pitiful way?
pocmloc, Feb 10 2021

       cf Limmy's swearing xylophone <link>
calum, Feb 10 2021

       I went to Normzone's idea, decided it looked good but couldn't give it a bun, because I've already done so at some point in the past. So either: 1. I'm going senile. Or 2. I'm plagiarizing while in denial.
pashute, Feb 10 2021

       Or 3) You have been condemned to live the same life over & over.

Random fast-clicking on Limmy's Xylophone produces very satisfying results!
DrBob, Feb 10 2021


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