Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Zoo Lending Library

use the zoo as a lending library
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Zoo Lending Library operates like any other library except you get to check out and take home an exotic animal for a set period of time.

Naturally each borrowed animal comes with a comprehensive manual that deals with all aspects of care and maintenance. Escape proof pens/kennels/tanks are provided, but specialised food supplies, and transport must be ordered and purchased in advance.

Here's just a few examples of what you can borrow:
Giraffe - to prune those tall, out of reach areas.
Lemur Troupe - pre-trained to move around in formation as perfect entertainment for a garden party. (can be unruly)
Lazy Cheetah - strolls around all day, then out-runs the fastest greyhound on any track. (before munching it down!)
Spectacled Bear - loves to pose in hats for selfies.
Polar Bear - deters pesky neighbours from breaking in and using your pool while you're away for a weekend.
Elephant - tramples lumpy areas of garden and flattens any unwanted sheds by sitting on them.
Gorillas - love to make drum solos by beating their chests - great for urban musicians to accompany.

The zoo of course accepts no responsibility for any damage the borrowed animal may inflict, including injuries or death.

All borrowers must also lodge (as a security deposit) a relative or friend who will be retained by the zoo in the event of the animal not being returned. (Other terms and conditions apply)

xenzag, Dec 07 2019


       This sounds like a poorly-camouflaged trick to break your close relatives in the reptile house out of jail ...
8th of 7, Dec 07 2019

       You can also borrow insects, so you need to be wary.
xenzag, Dec 07 2019

       "Uh, this Wagyu bull had four legs when we lent it out."
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2019

       "Ah, you've brought the giant millipede back ... right, just need to do a quick check ... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine no don't wriggle ... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven oh he's frisky today, isn't he ... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven KEEP STILL ... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ..."
8th of 7, Dec 07 2019

       Ha.... that's an easy one.... Think of the poor bugger who has to check the termite nest that was borrowed for a Christmas light garden decoration. Meanwhile, Mrs Max's grazing goat is inside the only anaconda that was on the shelf.
xenzag, Dec 07 2019


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