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"Foolproof Super High Tech Terrorist Mind Reading Machine"

"As soon as your head is scanned you may board the aircraft."
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(+3, -6)
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You finally get through airline security but there's just one last detector to deal with. As you walk through this machine on your way to the airline gate, a laser beam traces a quick line around your head, various other lights flash and some scary sounding electronic noises crackle and beep. It's rare, but from time to time an alarm goes off and security descends on the suspicious looking character and takes him away for questioning. It later turns out he was, in fact, a hijacker. The machine's rate of detection is near 100 percent and it knows the difference between somebody pretending to themselves that they have a bomb and somebody who really does have a bomb.

How does it work? It doesn't. At least not by any high tech wizardry but nobody knows that, not even the people operating the machine. It's just a big fake mind reading machine with lots of lights and gizmos. From time to time an actor from the company posing as a passenger triggers the machine to activate it. A "special security detail" from the company takes it from there. They whisk him off to some unknown location, presumably to have more probes and one can only imagine where those probes might go behind closed doors.

Of course once word got out that this was fake it wouldn't work. But word would also "leak out" that a false story about the machine being a phony was being circulated by the company to ensnare the terrorists.

Who's a terrorist to believe?

A twist on an old idea updated for modern times. (See link)

doctorremulac3, Sep 25 2008

Tried and true design. http://www.snopes.com/legal/colander.asp
(At least in folklore) [doctorremulac3, Sep 25 2008]

Mind-reading scanner http://www.telegrap...uld-read-minds.html
You couldn't make it up. Ahem. [sambwiches, Sep 25 2008]

Actual Brain Scanning used in Indian Courts http://www.iht.com/...sia/15brainscan.php
So see? When nobody is looking you can put a real scanner in your gizmo. [mylodon, Sep 25 2008]

Complaint department phone line on hold background music http://www.youtube....watch?v=mv9TqWDm_yU
"Please hold and thank you for using Mindtech" [doctorremulac3, Sep 25 2008]


       + my company have just installed fake CCTV to reduce thefts - it's worked so far. Is there a way to get a remote control for it, so you can set it off for random people?
MadnessInMyMethod, Sep 25 2008

       Check the link from yesterday's Telegraph:   

       "The Department of Homeland Security is testing a type of body scanner that seeks out invisible clues that a person might be harbouring criminal intent, such as raised body temperature, pulse and breathing rate."   

sambwiches, Sep 25 2008

//Of course once word got out that this was fake it wouldn't work.//

       Expect a visit from homeland security, any minute now.
ldischler, Sep 25 2008

       Wow. From the second link:   

       "She added it would be capable of distinguishing between someone with a hostile intent and a plane passenger, for example, who was merely stressed about missing a connection".   

       Let's throw in a little phrenology. Of course, your suspect will have to remove their turban.   

       You're right, you can't make this stuff up. Somebody is already doing it for us.   

       After going through security, I had to jog through Heathrow to catch a flight. I was taken aside and searched when I go to the gate.
normzone, Sep 25 2008

       This kind of thing terrifies me because I always get nervous when passing through airport security (in fact, I tend to feel uncomfortable in any sort of queue, to the extent that I do my grocery shopping online). The result of my discomfort is that I fidget, put my hands into my pockets and take them out randomly, refuse to make eye contact with anyone and fix my stare at the floor. I must look as if I'm trying to conceal something naughty because of the 6 times I've left the country this year (mostly by ferry) I've been stopped and questioned 4 times. If I ever passed through one of these detectors I'd be immediately shot.
sambwiches, Sep 25 2008

       // I'd be immediately shot //   

       ..... and the downside of that would be what, exactly ?
8th of 7, Sep 25 2008

       Well, I have plans for the weekend.
sambwiches, Sep 25 2008

       //If I ever passed through one of these detectors I'd be immediately shot.//   

       It doesn't really do anything so if you got shot that would probably be a result of a "glitch" in the system.   

       Don't worry, I've thought of everything.   

       "Thank you for calling Mindtech. Please select from one of the following complaints. For dizziness press 1. For hallucinatory meatshower incidents press 2. For accidental shootings press 3. Thank you for your patience and thank you for using Mindtech."   

       Then while on hold you'd hear the "theme" from Hypnotoad. (See link)
doctorremulac3, Sep 25 2008

       Terrorists will target the device itself. So before they proceed to the "Foolproof Super High Tech Terrorist Mind Reading Machine", they should first have to pass through a "Foolproof Super High Tech Terrorist Mind Reading Machine".
Amos Kito, Sep 26 2008

       <Wizard of Oz> "Ignore that man behind the curtain!" </WoO>
DrBob, Sep 26 2008

       There are terrorists out there who were trained as engineers, doctors, etc. so I don't think this would work as well as planned.
RayfordSteele, May 17 2012


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