Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"Get Me Outta Here!" Traffic Jam Busters

Heavy lift service, for when you're in a hurry.
  (+9, -2)
(+9, -2)
  [vote for,

Stuck in a traffic jam and you just can't get to that incredibly important meeting?

In short... a bigass helicopter with a loadmaster, a set of rope slings and a freecall number. Flashing light for the car's roof, when you subscribe.

Dial, submit your credit card details, turn on the GPS locator on your mobile 'phone and strap yourself in.

UnaBubba, Jun 12 2012


       Added a flashing light, for recognition.
UnaBubba, Jun 12 2012

       As the helicopter probably wouldn't be able to land in the rush hour traffic, it would be tricky to complete the complex job of attaching a decent harness to the customer's car. A claw would be a workable alternative but might damage the client's vehicle irreparably. Which leaves only one sensible option: a big ass magnet. "your chopper with be with you soon, Mr [unabubba], please remove your spectacles and any body piercings."
Fishrat, Jun 12 2012

       Actually, [Alter] it's hara-kiri (cutting the belly) or more correctly Seppuku.
UnaBubba, Jun 12 2012

       I was figuring the chopper just hovers, two guys rappel to the ground beside the car, tighten the slings around the wheels and sit on top of the car as it's whisked away to the meeting you're afraid of missing.
UnaBubba, Jun 12 2012

       Yeah, I know what it is, but my Japanese spelling sucks.
Alterother, Jun 12 2012

       Arigato gezaimas. Doushimoshito.
UnaBubba, Jun 12 2012

       A replacement driver could be exchanged for you and you chopper to the meeting.
cudgel, Jun 12 2012

       Great for "liberating" a parking space, simply attach a flashing light atop the offending vehicle, dial up and await removal and relocation to a random set of GPS coordinates of your choosing. Park and hope nobody else gets the same idea.
zen_tom, Jun 12 2012

       Instead of attaching lights to your car, how about attaching a strap system, so that it is just as distinctive as lights, but is also the thing that the helicopter cable latches onto?
Vernon, Jun 12 2012

       //arigato gezaimus//
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 12 2012

       I put the douche reference in there just for you, [21].   

       You happy now?
UnaBubba, Jun 12 2012

       velcro cars?
Voice, Jun 12 2012

       Awesome. Bun. Plus one for the swap-drivers ideas. I'll post a derivative idea shortly.
white, Jun 13 2012

       Is this only available for your car or can you have the guy in front of you hauled away?
doctorremulac3, Jun 16 2012

       Just my luck. I subscribed, but was stuck in the tunnel when my need arose. Bun for the idea.
not_only_but_also, Jun 16 2012


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