Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"Ohhh Yeaaaa!!" Talking Coffee Maker

The steam flow in the brewing mechanism passes through a vowel articulation mechanism that makes it appear to talk.
  [vote for,

Not really an invention because I already have one sort of. My beloved coffee maker broke so I bought a replacement. It sounds haunted in that the steam going through the brewing mechanism makes moaning noises.

So it would be fairly easy to have the steam pass through mouth shaped parts in sequence to appear to speak.

I would have it say "Ohhh yeaaaa!" not in a sexual context, which would be not only weird but downright disturbing, but making an exclamation of excitement about this great pot of coffee coming along.

Theoretically you could adjust it to say other things but that would just be stupid.

doctorremulac3, May 05 2020

Like this... https://www.youtube...watch?v=9rTzJIxBHKc
[doctorremulac3, May 05 2020]

...not like this. https://www.youtube...watch?v=RbVZyM4T-xs
What were you expecting? [doctorremulac3, May 05 2020]

For if you want to get really weird. https://www.youtube...watch?v=LnowyJR50pk
Sequencing the steam flow through a series of these you could get full sentences. [doctorremulac3, May 05 2020]

Coolaid pitcher busting into rooms. https://www.youtube...watch?v=EmKYrxzOTC4
He's here to murder your thirst. [doctorremulac3, May 07 2020]

Kool-aid man - Family Guy https://youtu.be/GLZigO-pFqs
[xaviergisz, Nov 29 2021]

http://www.technove...ontent.asp?Bnum=135 All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done. [pertinax, Nov 29 2021]

Oh yeah! https://www.youtube...watch?v=6jJkdRaa04g
Yello [DrBob, Nov 30 2021]

How to make an inanimate object sexy https://www.amazon....ottle/dp/B0006JKW94
Sort of. [doctorremulac3, Nov 30 2021]

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       "Oh, ah Cantona" - probably only understood in UK. [+]
xenzag, May 05 2020

       It should be possible to combine an espresso machine with a tiny fairground organ mechanism.   


       Curses ! Not only are coffee grinders powered by miniature steam engines Baked, but there's even an idea on the HB ...
8th of 7, May 05 2020

       //coffee grinders powered by miniature steam engines// Very passé. One would hope for a full size steam engine to power one's coffee grinder.
pocmloc, May 05 2020

       This should be a thing, right now today. Can we sneak it into the next Executive Order?   

whatrock, May 05 2020

       I would definitely have it say "Ohhh yeaaaaaa!" in a sexual context. I could seduce young ladies and bring them home, flirting gently as the coffee machine moans undertones of sexual excitement. Later on in the evening, just as things are starting to get interesting, I would simply wander off and drink coffee.   

       I am the worst Tinder date ever.
wagster, May 06 2020


       I was thinking of putting up a video of my "talking" coffee maker. It sounds more like a dying last breath than anything else.   

       There you go, have a replica of a famous statue of somebody dying as a coffee maker. Just stick my coffee maker in it and you're done.   

       A goth kid's coffee maker right there.
doctorremulac3, May 06 2020

       I'm getting a different beverage. I associate this exclamation with large animated pitchers of Kool-Aid bursting through masonry.
tatterdemalion, May 07 2020

       Did he say anything when he busted through the wall? I just remember all the kids screaming and running for their lives.   

       Yup, after doing a little search, that was his tag line. See link.   

       He'd bust into a room full of kids, make an overtly sexual "Oh yea!" moan and then proceed to physically attack anybody who got in his way.   

       No wonder I blocked this out of my mind.
doctorremulac3, May 07 2020

       Could we get it to emulate one of those film clips they used to show at intermission at the drive-in? E.g., "Our snackbar has hot, delicious coffee just waiting for you to enjoy—why not grab a cup now?" With appropriate perky '50s prod-the-consumers music. I'd get one of those.
Ander, Nov 28 2021

       I've always been a big fan of giving personalities to appliances.
doctorremulac3, Nov 29 2021

       “Oh,” said Arthur, “sounds ghastly.”
pertinax, Nov 29 2021

       Share and enjoy!
whatrock, Nov 29 2021

       "Talkie's the name, toasting's the game, would anyone like any toast?"
bs0u0155, Nov 30 2021

       How about a sexy toaster that says "Psst. Hey good lookin', how's about we make a little toast together?" Just some pretty eyes on the side like the bottle in "I Dream Of Jeanie" would do it. (link)   

       I was going to suggest elaborating on the idea, something about the toaster having a place to put things into and it went from cute to gross so please disregard the whole idea.
doctorremulac3, Nov 30 2021

       Ventriloquism would solve a lot of your "issues", [Dr.]
pocmloc, Nov 30 2021

       //Could we get it to emulate one of those film clips they used to show at intermission//

Inspired by this comment & a mistaken sense of nostalgia for my childhood, I made the very bad error of spending some time watching a few 1970's Pearl & Dean cinema ads. Oh dear! :(
DrBob, Nov 30 2021

       bs0u0155- How is life? And yes, I'll take two browned.
blissmiss, Dec 01 2021

       //"Talkie's the name, toasting's the game, would anyone like any toast?"//   

       Why did I read that with the Monty Python guy's cockney accent? The "Allo govna, owsa 'bout a bit o toast taday eh whot?"   

       Might be interesting to have it switch personalities. "Wonder who the toaster identifies as today?"
doctorremulac3, Dec 02 2021


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