h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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People spend a lot of time fixing their coffee and tea just so. When the waitstaff rolls around for a top-up, it messes up all your hard work. I have seen people move their coffee mugs, hide them even, to prevent this from occurring.
My solution is a use for primitive nanotechnology, _not_ nanorobots
or anything, but more like engineered molecules and polymer chemistry. The goal would be to create artificial/augmented creamer and sweetener that can "bind" itself to an initial mixing ratio during a certain thermal window.
For example, say you usually take your coffee with two creams, or about a 8:1 ratio. In my posit, you select an 8:1 "Smart Creamer" from the dish beneath the wall mounted jukebox. Maybe they're color coded. The smart creamer is slightly larger than normal single servings, but you pour the entire container into your coffee cup and wait one minute. In that time, the "smart creamer" binds to the coffee molecules at the preselected 8:1 ratio. When the coffee cools a bit, the reaction stops. You enjoy your coffee as you normally would, except now, when the waitress swings by for a top-up, you are no longer hiding your cup or covering it with your hand. You simply allow her to pour more into your cup. When the new coffee hits the dregs of your first cup, the smart creamer molecules, activated by the temperature change, fold and unfold into either active flavor compounds or neutral tasteless isomers of the cream, creating the 8:1 ratio depending on how much you've already drank.
Given people's coffee drinking habits, I would imagine that a single "smart creamer" serving could last about two to three cups, depending on the blending ratio. I understand that there are "Franken-food" issues with a product like this, but considering many diner denizens also enjoy cigarettes, creamed chip beef, and scrapple, I can assure you there is a solid demographic who wouldn't care if this shit causes cancer and/or birth defects in clinical trials.
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sp. denizens unless they are at a certain restaurant where they're known as Dennyszens. |
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Den-e-zen: an internet cafe for travelling monks. |
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Oh, it's been fixed. Never mind. |
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I'm a sucker for high-low language jokes, so (+) for the last sentence and for implying technology while staying clear of complete magic. |
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I feel as if there's an alternate mechanical solution as well that would employ an oddly shaped cup with a milk reservoir, something about columns of milk being balanced by columns of coffee. |
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Insanely over-engineered, for which fishbone. |
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Comparing
//When the waitstaff rolls around //
with
//Insanely over-engineered//, |
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I would suggest that someone is insanely over-waited-on. As a lateral-thinking solution, may I suggest moving to a country with higher labour costs? |
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But have a bun, anyway, because the idea is silly in a cute way, not in a bad way. |
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