Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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armour plated domestic appliances

  [vote for,

All kinds of domestic appliances but with their outer shell made from armour plating.

No longer will you be criticised for using firearms in the kitchen.

pocmloc, Sep 02 2020

Armored tabletop? https://www.youtube...watch?v=LXABVexl2dk
FWD to 2:30 [whatrock, Sep 03 2020]

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       Disclaimer, I once broke a coffee filter machine with a broadhead arrow shot from a longbow.
pocmloc, Sep 02 2020

       Since the incident with the aquarium and the pistol crossbow, we have been progressively rolling out this technology, but [+] anyway as it would be good to be able to source items "off the shelf" ...
8th of 7, Sep 02 2020

       Marketing should be easy enough. How many men wouldn't pay a couple of hundred extra for armour plating?   

       Could have different grades and price points
pocmloc, Sep 02 2020

       // Make your aquarium out of transparent aluminium //   

       It's not our aquarium. We don't want an aquarium, or anything to do with aquaria, their contents, or the innumerable and ruinously expensive accessories required. And as for the even more ruinously expensive house calls from specialist fish veterinarians ... yes, they do exist, should you ask.   

       Odd thing about aquaria; they seem to be a contained structure, yet no matter how much money is poured into them, they're never full.
8th of 7, Sep 02 2020

       I had the idea of an armoured table(top). Have 2 of the legs able to break away (or fold or whatever) so the table becomes a conveniently sloped armoured place to take cover behind. Probably need to have it positioned facing the most likely direction of intrusion before it is required...
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 02 2020

       // I had the idea of an armoured table(top). //   

       During WW2, Winston Churchill had a special high-backed armchair containing a sheet of armour plate in his bedroom in 10 Downing Street, which he intended to use as a shield in case Nazi assassins made an attempt on his life.   

       Throughout the war, he also habitually carried a Colt M1911A1 automatic pistol on his person, with "one up the spout" and the hammer down, much to the alarm and discomfort of both his colleagues and his personal detective. While he was highly experienced in the use of firearms, having participated in the cavalry charge at Omdurman and served as a Brigadier in WW1, he was, to say the least, unfailingly pugnacious, and knowing that he carried a loaded gun around did not help the nerves of his subordinates. He particularly delighted in the M1 Thompson submachine gun, and would take any opportunity not only to fire one, but to demonstrate technique to his audience. He was apparently alarmingly skillful ...   

       // I have never damaged a household appliance using firearms or crossbows. //   

       What a dull life you must lead.
8th of 7, Sep 02 2020

       // I once broke a coffee filter machine with a broadhead arrow //   

       Kept delivering that weak, transparent morning coffee did it? Wouldn't respond to the "rich", "opaque" or "semi- solid" settings? Puts a new spin on "don't piss me off, I haven't had my coffee." Ha!   

       Aquaria, I'm told, are easier to maintain as the volume goes up. Renting, sealing and filling the flat next door should be sufficient.
whatrock, Sep 03 2020

       You're not making any friends with that, [what]. Only by dint of careful and covert re-engineering of the heating and insulation has the garage been retained as a Sacred Space, resistant to encroachment by yet more bloody fishtanks ... "But it's freezing in there in the winter, what would happen if there was a power cut or a heater broke ...?" ... "What if there was an ... unfortunate accident* ... with a power tool ... ?"   

       *Great caution is needed with that ploy to avoid resurrecting the acrimonious consequences of the Crossbow Incident, which seems to loom somewhat larger than Hiroshima, Nagasaki, the Black Death, or numerous other global events.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2020


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