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balancing trains for extra capacity

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As the UK's grossly overcrowded trains and (quite frankly antique rails) attempt to make it through yet another century...it becomes obvious that the easiest way is to get the trains to balance on one rail.

Then, even a single-track line is capable of carrying two trains going in opposite directions* at the same time. Huzzah!

This could be done gyroscopically, but that would be boring.

Best would be to put the heaviest commuters at the bottom corner of the carriage, so lowering the centre of mass, with the rest of the commuters (having gained government sponsored black belts in surfing, riding unicycles, tight-rope walking and other pursuits likely to foster a good sense of balance) go at the top corner of the carriage.

Perhaps they can be offered discounts on train tickets, or might just do the balancing bit out of being public spirited?

Anyway, you're thinking, "yes, but what happens when the train stops?" Well, I'm glad you asked that question...err..obviously the platforms will need to altered to a v-shape to take the now diamond cross-section trains and all new tunnels will also be diamond-shaped so saving on kneepads. And cheese.

Equally obviously, only riding on one set of wheels, will be a net saving.

I leave it up to the train companies to decide whether to ditch the wheels or use them on alternate days, perhaps having the carriage windows facing south on winter days, and facing north in the winter?

* if they are on the other rail**

** or going in the same direction***

*** Huzzah, again.

not_morrison_rm, Nov 05 2013

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       //"yes, but what happens when the train stops?"//   

       The large people at the bottom might stick their legs out of holes in the floor.
the porpoise, Nov 05 2013
  

       The holes are already there anyway, particularly on the coaching stock in use on the BedPan line, so yes, that would work.
8th of 7, Nov 05 2013
  

       If the signals could be coordinated properly, two trains could prop each other up outside the station, while waiting for the signal to change.   

       A certain amount of grease, and good timing would see this work at least 19% of the time, the worst that can happen is one of the trains falls onto the tracks, thereby hogging both tracks, giving the passengers a very weird diamond-on its side configuration with the floor horizontal. I'm sure they'd get used to it.   

       Should the train fall off the track entirely, then it's out of the way of other trains and so can't cause a collision.   

       Worrying, this idea does seem to have some good bits.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 05 2013
  
      
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