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belly button fat removal

utilize position of belly button in order to pump out excess fat
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As a writer, I find myself in a constant state of unmovingness at my desk in front of the computer where the only thing I end up excercising is my right to get carpell-tunnel (sp?) syndrome. However, since writing takes up so much time, and I am too lazy to work out, there must be another way. What I propose is that the medical community take two schools of knowledge, that of prenatal care and lyposuction, and combine them so that the fat content in a persons body is constatly being balanced to where it should be. Upon delivery of the child, the doctor should cut the umbilical cord, but rather than tie it and let it go, there should be some sort of plug inserted so that as the child grows, the belly button area is now an accessible thing. Since they are so used to having it they will not have to go through any harmful or painful surgeries later in life in order to utilize this idea. the second step to this process is a compact lyposuction machine which can determine, based upon a person's height and weight, what their fat content should be. this machine would be maintained in an individuals home and would be used by simply lying down, removing the plug from ones belly button, inserting the tube, turning on the machine, and the rest is automatic. when the machine is finished it automatically shuts off and the person can now simply plug the hole back up. obviously bruising will still occur but the price has gone down and therefore the frequency of use may be a bit easier. This would revolutionize the way we look at excercise because there would still be reasons to, such as atheletes who want to not only have low fat content but also to be in shape. this process would by no means build muscle. Yet for those people who just dont want to be fat, this is the idea for you.
leex, Oct 22 2002

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       Fat zapper battery belt? Sure they're safe....
Mr Burns, Oct 22 2002
  

       "Honey I asked you to empty the fat machine two days ago, now it's full and I can't even lift it up to my tummy."
blissmiss, Oct 22 2002
  

       ah, but doesn't it just suck out the fat in your tummy? so as i sit at my desk getting carpell tunnel syndrome, my a$$ will continue to spread. a little unfair, but i don't want any tubes stuck up there.
goostas, Oct 22 2002
  

       and what of all those poor f*ckers with fat asses?
celizafinn, Oct 22 2002
  

       You're a writer? In what language?   

       sp: liposuction
jutta, Oct 22 2002
  

       The umbilical cord is rejected by the body and disintegrates after birth, making this impossible. Liposuction in itself is a dangerous procedure even when it's *not* being performed continuously.   

       A computer desk with stationary bicycle pedals to work out while working would be a creative way to keep fit while on the computer. Eating healthier could work, as well.
BinaryCookies, Oct 22 2002
  

       define: writer
thumbwax, Oct 23 2002
  

       Righter: A person with limited imagination and a broken spell check key, who utilizes his right hand for other things while keying with left? (Carpel Tunnel, btw)   

       Now where's my prize, [thumb]?
blissmiss, Oct 23 2002
  

       There's something fishy about this.
skinflaps, Oct 24 2002
  

       [YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED, UMBILICALLY WITH THE COLLECTIVE... RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.]   

       Your Caps Lock key appears to be on - [2 fries].   

       <sp>umbilically</sp>
PeterSilly, Oct 24 2002
  

       reiter
[G., rider.] A German cavalry soldier of the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries.

Wouldn't leex's device be prone to dangerous build-ups of fluff?
DrBob, Oct 24 2002
  

       Why not just use the old fashioned idea of binge & purge? Hold my hair honey, I've gotta puke.
Aurora, Oct 24 2002
  

       whaddya mean [DrBob] like, if the cat jumps on you mid-operation?
po, Oct 24 2002
  

       the other end of the tube needs to go across the world into some hungry person
flyfast, Jun 05 2003
  
      
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