Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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blunderbuss tennis racquet

makes tennis serves even quicker
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
  [vote for,

normal tennis played with a tennis racquet that has a blunderbuss in the handle.

professional male tennis players are serving with speeds of a mere 150 mph. lets liven things up a bit by serving the ball using the blunderbuss end of the racquet then twirling it around quickly for the normal return shot.

if Sir Cliff turns up, there might be an added bonus.


po, Jun 25 2003

oh bless him. he did his best with the rain. http://mrbongo1.homestead.com/des.html
[po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

The English Elvis http://www.cliffrichard.com/
Cliff Richard. Professional virgin, Tennis lover and the Peter Pan of pop. [sufc, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Cliff - singing in the rain among other stuff http://news.bbc.co....tainment/969032.stm
[po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

What I would be more likely to use... http://www.hammache...51023&AFID=BEFREE01
...I'm a table tennis player. [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

sick as a parrot, jinbish? http://www.robbinst...nis.com/prodrob.htm
something like this. [po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

I've always wanted one... https://www.tees-sp...e=xzx&thickness=xzx
I've had my eye on this one for a while now. If only we could get some hapless fool of a council to buy it for our club. [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

The Young Ones for Snarfy http://www.cultv.co.uk/young.htm
featured a different band each week - to add to your enjoyment [po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Another Approach http://www.worth100...3&display=photoshop
[DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       Would add a certain something to Dodgeball, too. Injuries, maybe.
DrCurry, Jun 25 2003

       Way to make men's tennis even less entertaining, though the thought of Sir Cliff with a burst nose makes this idea too appealing to reject.
my face your, Jun 25 2003

       What did I miss about Cliff Richard?
snarfyguy, Jun 25 2003

       Hey, great - the risk of raquets exploding and firing lead shot all over the perfectly manicured lawns of SW19. 15-40 - and that's just the injuries.   

       Mind you, I'm not sure what you've got against Sir Quiff Pilchard.
PeterSilly, Jun 26 2003

       They do always talk about explosive serves ...
Aristotle, Jun 26 2003


       "Fifteen - love."   


       "Thirty - love."   



       I liked it in the days when they had rallies...
saker, Jun 26 2003

       Jin, the school has an electric table tennis ball shooter thingy. its incredible, all angles, speeds with top and bottom spins. I could waste hours playing against it <g>
po, Jun 26 2003

       So should I rent "Summer Holiday" or what?
snarfyguy, Jun 26 2003

       no, try to find a copy / copies of The Young Ones.
po, Jun 26 2003

       [po]: I am soooo jealous. I'd come to your school and coach... but I'd only growl at the kids to stop pestering me and let me practice.
Jinbish, Jun 26 2003

       you are more than welcome. the kids would only growl back <g>
po, Jun 26 2003

       Nah, they'd be too struck with awe - seeing such table tennis poetry in motion.   

       It's ok kids, there'll be plenty of time for autographs later.
Jinbish, Jun 26 2003

       I hate to throw cold water on such an excellent idea, but just how do you get sufficient height on your service to get your serves in? Seems to me that there would be nothing but faults (unless you could hit your opponent on the noggin and knock her out of the game).
pluterday, Jun 26 2003

       I just aim in the usual way - cannot see a problem here   

       Henman's thru to the 1/4's   

       so which of the next matches is going to be the one when his play goes pear-shaped?
po, Jun 30 2003

       [po]: Why the next round of course! He's playing Grosjean - who beat him at Queen's a fortnight ago. Crash and burn...
Jinbish, Jul 01 2003

       you gotta love those french names. now Henri LeConte - mmmm
po, Jul 01 2003

       I'm sorry but I can only support harquebus tennis rackets
davidcreede, Aug 12 2003

       then exploding tennis balls could be invented. eventually all tennis players would be either dead or arrested for manslaughter, either way we no longer have to watch this, the most boring of sports, which continually ruins the TV listings all summer
bezzzie1, Feb 08 2004


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