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chlorophyll reduces street crime

latest research shows drugs with ring molecules are sedatives so use a natural source to reduce street crime n make life safer
  (+9, -2)
(+9, -2)
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a recent paper in this months trends in gullibility shows that of 123 many drugs known to act as sedatives or happy making drugs over 40 percent have ring structures in their molecules n most have two or more rings

chlorophyll has many ring structures in its molecules n also contains magnesium magnesium is relatively close to lithium in the table of periods n ought to have similar effects ie calming n mood stabilising though not without side effects but perhaps not as many side effects as lithium n even thats not so bad as its made out to be

at the same time crime n muggings is a main problem in central city parts of course. also in these areas there is noticeably few trees or grass. a recent study showed that the colour green can reduce heart rate n levels of stress hormones in wallabies. chlorophyll is green.

take trees n genetically modify them so they develop leaves which are fluffy nstead of smooth this gives them more surface area so they will grow faster. also alter the autumn time leaf response so that nstead of reabsorbing chlorophyll the leaves lyse the outer layer of cells allowing chloroplasts to escape n eventually releasing chlorophyll. studies on giant pilchweed show that chlorophyll is stable when released by lysis.

plant these trees in inner city central areas n also on roof gardens so that every building has a tree on. n summer they will help absorb lead n other pollutors. a recent paper showed that reducing nitrous oxide molecules in the air reduced aggression in beetles by more than 100 percent.

n autumn the leaves lyse n release chlorophyll into the air which disperses n reaches high local concentrations. a recent paper showed that dense molecules such as chlorophyll can be dispersed in vortices caused by passing pigeons. chlorophyll molecules are then breathed in by violent people. a paper in science showed violent people breathe more deeply than nonviolent pacific people so selfmedication n dose adjustment. chlorophyll ring molecules will be metabilized n produce tranquillizing compounds ndogenously restoring peace n order.

MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 05 2008

agression in beetles http://www.ncbi.nlm...nel.Pubmed_RVDocSum
6-methyl-5-hepten-2-one contains oxygen atoms similar to those in nitrous oxide [MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 05 2008]


       This reminds me of the contests to write a short story in a given author's style.   

       "twas dark n stormy nite"
normzone, Mar 05 2008

       "reduced aggression in beetles by more than 100 percent" so the beetles became acivists for peace and traquility to other species? Did they die? Please link to this research, Tre.... i mean Max
WcW, Mar 05 2008

       [MB] here you go again taking vague ideas in some badly interpreted "recent study", applying a little badly researched (at best - junk at worst) science, and solving some social ill that smarter people than us have been working on for centuries. Do you have any actual ideas?
globaltourniquet, Mar 05 2008

       a recent study showed that taking random ideas n fusing them into an unlikely amalgamate can increase idea generation by 45 percent in macaques given access to typewrites n statistically a proportion of these ideas will work n help save mankind
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 05 2008

       chlorophyll, more like boreophyll!
KineticKill, Mar 05 2008

       I litterly laughed so hard i cried after the link. perfect.
WcW, Mar 05 2008

       There are too many periods, otherwise it is perfection.
tatterdemalion, Mar 06 2008

       I thought that there was too much punctuation as well, but a quick look at some recent [Treon] postings shows that there is punctuation in there.
[Treon]s pause of choice is typically the semi-colon, with the odd comma and colon throw in as well, but no full stops to be found.
neutrinos_shadow, Mar 06 2008

       Lets stop bothering [Treon] as he needs to get back to his studies.
WcW, Mar 06 2008

       You never know, he might be studying the social interactions of a web-based society given a chaotic irritating influence...
neutrinos_shadow, Mar 06 2008

       The thought had occured to me. There is a certain pattern to his madness. We should like Hamlet and watch and wait as the truth may make itself apparent.
WcW, Mar 06 2008

       What?I thought I had set up a filter - oh. Hi, [Max].
lurch, Mar 06 2008

       //There is a certain pattern to his madness//
//There are too many periods, otherwise it is perfection//
//chlorophyll, more like boreophyll//
These cleared out my snot locker.
ldischler, Mar 06 2008

       At first I was confused. Was Treon actually writing a satire of himself? Then I understood.   

       If anything, your thought processes were far easier to follow. The real thing would contain about 10x more idea, with many fewer organizational words, and enough non-sequiturs to jumble it all together.
GutPunchLullabies, Mar 07 2008

       I wonder if his work is actually passed through a macro. His annos contain similar content so maybe it is as simple as Treonovator.com where you can type in reasonable text and it come out all jarbled with unrelated notes taken from highschool chemistry classes.
WcW, Mar 07 2008

       If you became over emotional about a certain Baker, could this be called histreonics?
xenzag, Mar 07 2008

       Yes, [MB], you got me. I was nearly sure this would be a [Treon] idea just from the title.   

       Use "n" less for a more believable parody. Also, don't rely so much on telling us where the research for each point came from - once you've got one piece of research, extrapolate.   

       And finally, be sure to include some "sentences" which are opaque not only due to content, but also because they lack enough "organizational words" to clarify which of their possible interpretations is right.   

       /filter/ Ah, good plan.
david_scothern, Mar 07 2008

       [david_scothern] ive taken your points on board would like to edit some pro words though cant have everything sugar molecules diffusion constant revision
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 07 2008

       marked generate ideas n frustration by employing Burroughsian cut-up techniques normally only adopted by sixties which also appears to be an lovable to get in quantity other Bromocryptine is easy communication between myself can cause uterine contractions n is probably better avoided by women who are pregnant n the rest of the world this atcs as protection fromcraziness which is any sense he would contract hIV for a day n survive without resorting to contraceptive drugs;   

       for he would be very fertile n spawn many children all of whom would be happylongtime for a very i like ice cream long time humour; i imagine a case where someone realises that this anything at all but is instead a badly typed out stream of conciousness that doesnt have a particular beginning middle or end dolphins are cute off the middle carbon atom in the chain amine with a bunch of vaporized ergot alkaloids are also available n would alow the chemist to skip a debromination step or two as well   

       deletion chick-peas just as long as I take it easy n try to gently tone down this made-up shell persona its not me I promise its just trying to get through the day - n some of your natural charm shows through because really a nice guy - sex can be fun its just that you are interfacing with me via a transient personality facade; people who believe or who would like to believe that they are in some way a deity of some alkaloids kind isomer or at least are destined to be so in some way - like xesus would both ergot increase smiling n also the number of people with vaginal residue on face   

       please for example people like to be happy i notice that happy people he would chew cigarettes n not get cancer; but would take drugs n taste the flavour of words but only if it bunny rabbits are sweet n cute n didnt i notice that in some publications there might be some rambling bollocks doesnt actually mean allusion to something in the Ive adopted as a protection future but have failed to realise that this kind of aspirational soaring is normally less than practical in reality - n while it is fun as part of my affectation i have decided to put a barrier of chloromethane n some gaseous pyridine is optional making it from the difference between beat poetry amphetamine n methamphetamine is the addition of a single methyl group to the amino sticking ephedrine or pseudoephedrine is possible alpha-hydroxy amide facilitide a talented guy if Im honest tend to be the ones who are least affected by microbial disease n like the idea of people i love them having less diseases i read that some vaginal residue contains microbiotic solution that cures cancer n protects people from other nothappy things   

       i lentil people should spread vaginal residue over faces n smile more often than not if everyone did this there would be fewer global warming n xesus would visit but this time he would have an Albert Hofmann vagina it would not be funny to punch a badger rejection it also essentially isolates myself within a very small world of interaction - one that im evidently trying to escape   

       cant its ok william powell its just a matter of time - im going to work through this n one day ill be back to my old self make to engender a freakout kind of but which nobody has managed to penetrate just yet vibe that not only harks back to the early word soup; you get the idea its not permanent - or real - thats the main thing
zen_tom, Mar 07 2008

       [z-t] Would you be so kind as to remove the Jesus reference? Bar that, it's funny; I'd really appreciate it if you could delete that bit.
david_scothern, Mar 07 2008

       Quite right. I mean, for chrissakes, leave blasphemy out.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 07 2008

       + a bun for fun n stuff, but the title was enough!
xandram, Mar 07 2008

       Good one, [MaxBun]. I saw the title, knew who it was, read the first few lines, quit, scrolled to the author's name and saw *you*? The styling is so good that I'm not able to read it. [ ]
baconbrain, Mar 07 2008

       Maybe he meant Jesus Diaz, that guy who lives down the block? Although that would be far worse, because that guy is my messiah.
GutPunchLullabies, Mar 07 2008

       Jesus -> xesus. [ds] is that ok?
zen_tom, Mar 07 2008


       Incidentally, I got obsessive enough to google Treon by his full name. The postings which turn up are, typically, written in a logical and comprehensible style, using real words and proper English. Either he's undergone some severe trauma, or his bakery persona is nothing more than a foolish and self-centred affectation.
david_scothern, Mar 08 2008

       Treon isn't his real name??
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 08 2008

       I suspect he is AI   

       When we call him, can we call him AI?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 08 2008

       o.k. Betty.
po, Mar 08 2008


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