Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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evil bed

the anti-alarm
  (+4)
(+4)
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This bed would lower the room temperature by 5 degrees, cover the blinds, silence your alarm, drop another blanket on you, play soft, soothing music, and gently rock you back to sleep.
Voice, Nov 08 2011

Please, just let me sleep Please_2c_20just_20let_20me_20sleep
Not quite the same... [normzone, Nov 08 2011]

Procrustes bed... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrustes
...so nothing like this </relieved> [not_morrison_rm, Nov 09 2011]

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       Nothing evil about it. Waking prematurely in the early morning, and having difficulty getting back to sleep is a part of normal aging, and, in many people, becomes a serious problem. Lotsa people middle aged and upwards would be grateful for an effective anti-alarm.   

       Not sure this would be effective, though.
mouseposture, Nov 08 2011
  

       //...and gently rock you back to sleep...//   

       I was having a hard time figuring out where the "evil" part of this idea was, and then it came to me! It rocks you to sleep with real rocks! Insidious. [+]
Grogster, Nov 08 2011
  

       A speaker inside the mattress tells you to kill everyone.
rcarty, Nov 09 2011
  

       [rcarty] Baked in James Bond "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", although the speaker appeared to be above the bed.
spidermother, Nov 09 2011
  


 

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