Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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iOuija-board software

Why should the end, be the end of telesales?
  [vote for,

I envisage a program (very badly written in VB6 as I'm doing it) that mimics the functions of a Ouija Board for fun and profit. The software works by the user holding down the left mouse key as the program flicks through the alphabet, when the user is moved by the spirit to let go, one letter is selected and added to the message.

The software can be downloaded off the net and users can cold-call (very cold..) at their own convenience, to fit around work or family commitments, their income is also added to by the number of cold-callers they recruit. It could best be described as a "non-truncated Square Frustum" scheme.

Income is strictly commission only, derived from the deceased client's previous agreement to post-mortem shopping costs being deducted from his or her estate, the text being included somewhere towards the bottom of software EULA's.

A fine example is the perpetual upgrade fees clause at the bottom of the Windows 8 EULA, allowing for cancellation of contract, subject to divine corporeal re-animation (Acts of God excluded).

not_morrison_rm, May 21 2012

Multi-User Fridge Magnets http://lunchtimers.com/
Not currently interfaced with the afterlife, but a possible working protoype. [zen_tom, May 21 2012]


       How about a networked version where a team of users all move their mouses in accordance with guidance from dead people (it might take a while for all those pre-industrial types to get the idea) and the system aggregates all those inputs and moves the mouse in accordance with the average value. Result, email from the spirit world, typed very, very slowly.
zen_tom, May 21 2012

       Tried the link managed to get "euphonious" up for about ten seconds, they them took longer to dismantle "YHVH"..kids these days..
not_morrison_rm, May 21 2012

       Bun for four consecutive vowels.
ytk, May 21 2012

Phrontistery, May 21 2012


       No, we have one of those "take a ticket and wait for your number" machines. It's provided by Camelot.
not_morrison_rm, May 22 2012


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