Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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mythical scapegoat race

those goddamed ________s.
  (+12, -5)
(+12, -5)
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Right now some people like to blame mexicans for everything that is wrong with the USA. Or maybe it's drug dealers, or next week the japs-- People used to blame Jews for everything (some still do ...) well I propose that we invent a fake race/kind-of-people who can be blamed for everything. Actors would be hired to play the fake race. They'd have annoying accents and a bizarre immoral seeming religion. They'd be both disgustingly poor and yet they'd seem to have a lot of money and power. They'd be shady and exclusive and blamable. Then people can get out all of their hate without hurting anybody (except actors, but that's okay I think ...)
futurebird, Jul 29 2001

(?) "Scapegoat" http://meltingpot.f...ia/178/huntgoat.jpg
By Hunt. [Dog Ed, Jul 29 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

The Gnomes of Zurich http://en.wikipedia...ki/Gnomes_of_zurich
Baked(ish). [DrBob, Nov 30 2001, last modified May 27 2011]

CRAB PEOPLE! http://www.youtube....watch?v=cgpwnSiRMjU
[EdwinBakery, May 26 2011]


The Military, Jul 29 2001

       Nepos - They take care of their own.
thumbwax, Jul 29 2001

       In consideration of the fact that most popular scapegoats are close in proximity to those who revile them, I nominate those f***ing Andromedans as the scapegoat of our solar system. They're in the cosmic neighborhood, yet far enough away that any retaliation on their part would take light-years to reach us.   

       They could always use their superior telepathic deadly-stink-bomb technology against us, of course. (It would be just like them to do this ... damned otherworldly little bastards.) But isn't total annihilation of the blaming culture the classic goal of the selection of a scapegoat?   

       Sieg heil!
1percent, Jul 30 2001

       I'm sorry, but the correct answer is, "The Moops."
Reverend D, Jul 31 2001

       I nominate people who use light-years as a measure of time... Sorry 1percent, when the revolution comes - you'll be the first against the sphere.
bear, Jul 31 2001

       Reverend D — Yep. It says so right here on the card.
The Military, Jul 31 2001

       Procrastinarians won't get around to suing you or even blaming you. Go get 'em.
yunohu, Jul 31 2001

       I just mind-twisted, and remembered a lovely (19th century?) painting of a scapegoat turned out into the desert with a garland around his horns and a rather bemused expression...so a 'scapegoat race' became a pack of these ceremonial beasts running across the salt flats scattering flowers in their wake.   

       It's really a nice painting. I'll see if I can find a link.   

       [Addendum: Jeez, either my memory is terrible or it was a painting other than the famous one by Holman Hunt. I linked to the Hunt 'Scapegoat'--no flowers to be seen!]
Dog Ed, Jul 31 2001

       nothing would change the fact that racism, even though it would be shunted away from people, would still be encouraged, which is as deplorable as encouraging any other form of it.
dj_photon, Oct 19 2001

       Ooh, UB. Next you'll be suggesting a Pedestrian Register, naming and shaming Pedestrians in the newspapers, and forcing them to go from door-to-door in neighbourhoods they've just moved into, saying, "Hello, I'm a Pedestrian... "
Guy Fox, Oct 19 2001

       UnaBubba and waugsqueke, I must remind you that picking on people simply because they were born in Pedester is an unacceptable attitude to take at the turn of the 21st century. They have been oppressed for centuries, even by the now almost-extinct Calvary.   

       I would much prefer to nominate the steeple-chase as a scapegoat race. Assuming, that is, that scapegoats are as nimble as mountain goats. To give it genuinely mythical ambience, I suggest that we carry it out in Greece, circa 800 B.C.
cp, Oct 19 2001

       Ye gods - and to think that you were complaining about DNA Gun Control being surreal... I'll be damned if I can make head or tail of your poetry.
cp, Oct 19 2001

       Nah, cp... steeple-chase would make a crap scapegoat-race. How fast have you ever seen a steeple run? That wouldn't be entertaining at all.
Guy Fox, Oct 19 2001

       You're getting it all wrong, Guy. Mythical steeples can put up quite a chase, let me tell you. It's a bugger of a job to get them back on the churches afterwards, though.
cp, Oct 19 2001

       After the chase, when it's time to bring back the steeple, I always escape on a goat to avoid the workout (escaping on foot increases the danger of being mistaken for a pedestrian).
stupop, Oct 19 2001

       Wow. Lycopersicon I knew, and I guessed that versicon was a UnaBubba-special (nothing comprehensible on Google!). I'd never heard of Baphomet. I know the general story of Lesbos, but had never heard of Mytilene. And you say «that's all»? (Don't answer that, it's another one of those rhetorical questions.)
cp, Oct 19 2001

       cp: Have you tried cranking them up to the correct height with a steeplejack?
Guy Fox, Oct 19 2001

       I didn't think of that, Guy, although it might be a lot simpler than the current solution recommended by the MSSOC*, which is to tie the steeple to a flock of road cones and replace the pavement on the church roof. The MSSOC also points out that the impact of a jet aeroplane is _not_ the preferred way of detaching the steeples, due to the adverse effects that aviation fuel has on the goats.   

       The MSSOC expressed its reservations about the use of Industry Standard Afghanis to herd the goats, once again primarily due to concerns about the safety of the goats in areas experiencing air strikes.   

       * MSSOC = Mythical Scapegoat Steeplechase Organising Committee, which organises escaping goats into chasing mythical steeples.
cp, Oct 19 2001

       Croissant if Pedants are the scapegoats...
phoenix, Oct 19 2001

       Unfortunately the pedants are definatley not mythical... (what have I gone and spelt wrong now?)
RobertKidney, Oct 19 2001

       Medians (ie denizens of the media) (BAKED), who are relatives of the awful Pedants.   

       P.S. RobertKidney misspelled "definitely."
arghblah, Nov 29 2001

       He always does (but he usually spells it the same way).
angel, Nov 30 2001

       Who said that? I'm sure I heard voices.
angel, Nov 30 2001

       well, you should know.
lewisgirl, Nov 30 2001

       I blame the scapegoats. Fancy letting themselves be picked on like that. They deserve everything they get.
pottedstu, Dec 01 2001

       ravenswood - are you a penguin? pleased to meet you
po, Dec 01 2001

       This would be so easy with a one-government world; just blame the politicians for everything as decended from pederastians.
reensure, Dec 01 2001

       Genius. If only it weren't for them Snasllfrasslls, this idea would have gotten 100+ buns.
zen_tom, May 26 2011

       Wow, talk about time travel. I only recognize a few of those user names.
normzone, May 26 2011

       Esparantans. Native Esperanto speakers, all of 'em. They're to blame.
RayfordSteele, May 26 2011

EdwinBakery, May 26 2011

       There were two goats; the scapegoat was released into the wilderness, and the other was killed and its blood sprinkled on an altar. Most other goats in the flock presumably got eaten, eventually. So, why is "scapegoat" considered an undesirable gig?
mouseposture, May 27 2011

       Well, I know what I really want to say but I suspect it is not only wrong but also bad so I will not say it but go away and try to be a better, more generous person.
Mony a Mickle, May 27 2011


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