Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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night time pee hose

Put an end to wet beds
  (+2, -5)
(+2, -5)
  [vote for,

My friend's younger brother is a bed wetter. I'll admit to being a bed wetter when i was a little kid. Now, as a man, I dont have this problem, but there are many people who do. I have proposed a new solution to the problem of bed wetting. First, there is a self-adhesive condom that the guy attaches to himself. On the end of this condom is a long hose that can reach long distances if neccesary. At the end of the hose is a spout that has a clamp which clamps on to the rim of the toilet and directs the spout into the toilet bowl so that if the urinating person takes a whizz during sleep, his whizz travels down the pipeline and directly into the toilet thus avoiding a wet smelly bed and pajamas as well as the discomfort of being all wet and cold. The hose is available in many vibrant colors and patterns. With this, those who whizz during sleep can enjoy waking up completely dry.
non-eatable, Aug 12 2002

The Stadium Pal http://www.stadiumpal.com
I heard about the stadium pal on a radio talk show. This is similar to my idea but it involves a urine collection bag and the whole thing is concealed and used while awake. The thought of this thing seems rediculous cause you dont need it if youre awake [non-eatable, Aug 12 2002]


       [Imagines non-eatable waking up perfectly dry but completely tangled up in twenty feet of rubber hose.]
DrCurry, Aug 12 2002

       Dr.Curry, This problem can be solved by attatching the hose to the bed frame with mounting brackets. Also, the hose is removeable (from the user) for when you leave the house. Also, the self adhesive condom is disposable and you can get a new one when the adhesive wears off
non-eatable, Aug 12 2002

       Ok, not trying to be over critical here, but I've thought of a few problems with this. "self adhesive condom" Ouch....what if hair gets caught in there? "his whizz travels down the pipeline and directily into the toilet..." Umm, what if there isn't enough whizz to go directly to the toilet? There'd need to be some kind of airpump hose spliced into the tube, yet it would -somehow- not pump air back into your penis. Ahahah! I can't stop laughing now. Also, "enjoy waking up...dry" What about urine collecting in the condom? then you just have dried up or still wet, old pee on you. Finally, "the hose is removeable from the user for when you leave the house" and "attatching the hose to the bed frame". Ok, I REALLY hope you take the hose off WAY before you leave the house, and for God's sake, your poor pee pee will get yanked around unless you hold COMPLETELY still during the night. hohoho. At least entertainment value was high.
kittybot, Aug 13 2002

       I guess i do get credit for a sense of humor. A wet-or-dry vacuum? Wouldnt that be kind of loud to use while sleeping? Kitty bot does make some good points though. I would imagine that air going inside my penis would hurt alot. I had origionally thought the gravity would be able to push the whizz to the toilet if there wasnt enough. Then again, I now have one of those high-rise beds that floats way above ground and the gravity theory would work if the hose was sent from an upstairs bedroom to a downstairs bathroom. Not everyone has a high-rise ceiling hugger bed or an upstairs. Tossing and turing, hmmm. Make the hose a bit loose and flexible to prevent being yanked around. The tip of the condom is a hole leaing to the hose so i dont think urine will collect in the condom. Kittybot did make some good points.
non-eatable, Aug 13 2002

       Hook up the hose to your waterbed and sleep toasty warm all night.
FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002

       <later on, in the emergency room..>   

       Uh.. I was vacuuming naked and I.. uh.. fell on it..   

yamahito, Aug 13 2002

       We wouldn't want our UnaBubba to become NullaBubba.
FarmerJohn, Aug 13 2002

       Another way to do this would be to mount the bed on the ceiling over a well-drained bedroom floor. Simply attach yourself to the bed and any "night leakages" falls into the drains below you ...
Aristotle, Aug 13 2002

       ..or instead of trying to treat the symptoms, you could try to find/solve the psychological upset that is invariably at the center of such nightly goings-on.
yamahito, Aug 13 2002

       Or, stop by the pharmacy and pick up some Depends.
Mr Burns, Aug 13 2002

       I don't think I want any adhesive down there. Think band-aids and pulling. Ouch. But if the condom actually stays on during the various states of things, then okay, whatever.
RayfordSteele, Aug 13 2002

       It is easy to miss the narrow pee hose early in the morning.
smokeyjohnson, Aug 19 2002

       You sound as if you speak from experience. Scary.
yamahito, Aug 19 2002

       If you are that tired just piss your bed.
ImBack, Aug 19 2002

       Such a device is commonly used by glider pilots on extended flights. The tube usually exits through the undercarriage doors, which must be opened before urinating. Pilots know to avoid flying behind and below other gliders whose undercarriage doors are open when not approaching to land. Never used one myself, but I'm told that if the tube is long, then an interesting suction effect occurs when you stop.
Obes, Aug 20 2002

       If the hose is tied to your leg & goes out the end of the bed, then you can roll over all night & not get tangled. And, yamahito, I think bedwetting has everything to do with not waking & nothing much to do with trauma.
pfperry, Aug 20 2002

       well, we'd have to disagree; I think most bedwetting (if it continues too long) is caused by some sort of attention seeking (trauma's a bit of a strong term). But even so, the fact remains that it would be better to tackle the problem (not waking up), rather than the symptom
yamahito, Aug 20 2002

       I would have the strangest dreams.
Voice, Feb 26 2015

       [non-eatable], the poster of this idea, obtained his account on August 11, 2002. He posted this idea and seven others in the following week.   

       He also annotated once on seven ideas authored by others in that same week.   

       He then ceased his brief Halfbakery presence. Perhaps he was eatable after all.
normzone, Feb 26 2015

       Like so many others, he proabably had his flesh stripped by the Bubbawock, who then crunched his bones to get the marrow out and spat the discarded fragments on the scree-slope of skeletal fragments outside the mouth of his cave*.   

       *Which is nice and warm, because there are nice thick leather curtains over the entrance, made of double layers of tanned human skin with human hair packed between them..
8th of 7, Feb 26 2015


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