Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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parrot shrink

Lonely parrots and depressed humans -- the perfect daytime match.
  [vote for,

Highly social parrots (and other psittacids), when kept as pets, tend to show symptoms of loneliness when deprived of even their owner's companionship, e.g. during the latter's workday. This has led to efforts to set up websites and chat rooms for latchkey parrots, but such projects are still in the r&d phase.

In the meantime, why not put your frustrated chatty pet to work, letting it get some daytime companionship AND earn its keep at the same time?! Set up a secure ante-room in your home, with a coin-operated door; patrons can enter for 45 min. to an hour (per the local market), get comfy on a couch, and explore their problems and psyches with an appreciative birdbrained shrink at bargain rates. The parrot, while mauling a rawhide cigar, will interject insightful phrases like 'Tell me about your mother!', 'And that makes you feel how?', 'I think we're making real progress here' and 'I'm afraid our time is up for today.' Both parties will feel warmer/fuzzier, and the parrot will feel more fulfilled in life overall. A win-win.

n-pearson, Jun 18 2003

Stoicism Parrot http://www.halfbake...a/Stoicism_20Parrot
by pottedstu. A personal favourite. [my face your, Oct 05 2004]


       Using animals to make people feel better is a well established practice. Not sure that having them parrot psychiatrists phrases is going to add any special benefit.
DrCurry, Jun 18 2003

       The parrot's name? Eliza, of course.
krelnik, Jun 18 2003

       I'm not going to pay good money for this. I'm gonna buy a budgie.
po, Jun 18 2003

       BRAWK! Excuse me - *poot* *splat* (folds/unfolds newspaper liner) - Ready for Rorschach Test? BRAWK!
thumbwax, Jun 18 2003

       Perhaps breed a breed of miniature stoicism parrots (by genetic engineering jiggery pokery, or just get a Shetland pony to mate with a parrot) for to stand on the shoulder of your unhappy parrot and for to make him/her feel better.   

       Unhappy miniature parrots can be dealt with by the same means, resulting in a sort of fractal psychiaparrot system, peeling away into tinyness, on the left shoulder of every housebound pet parrot in existence.
my face your, Jun 18 2003

       Have you any idea how those twitchy tails turn a Kat on?
The Kat, Jun 18 2003

       I thought this was about pirates forgetting to take their parrot off their shoulder before sticking their jackets in the washing machine, for a hot wash. Oh well.
silverstormer, Jun 18 2003

       Like the Paxil and Rorschach comments. One advantage to parrot shrinks that I forgot to mention: it'd be quite easy to, um, spot a quack.
n-pearson, Jun 18 2003

       + for the Rorschach comment from the late great and really late [thumbwax]
dentworth, Oct 21 2004


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