Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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patriotism collar

shock for assholes
  (+5, -14)(+5, -14)
(+5, -14)
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we should design a shock collar that responds to patriotism. any time you put your hand on your heart or claim that 'We're # 1!' in a loud obnoxious voice, you shold receive a small shock. the bigger the patriotic, xenophobic, closet racist remark you make, the bigger the shock. i.e. 'England is the greatest country in the world and all the rest of you maggots suck!' would cause me to black out for a short moment. a loud chant of 'USA! USA!' would cause a ringing in the ears and possible loss of bowel control. harsh, maybe, but its the only way we'll learn.
ktay100, Oct 22 2002

It is considered unwise http://degraeve.com/images/20021017.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 22 2002]

[link]






       What about playing air guitar when your relay team wins gold at the olympics? Oh I forgot you look stupid enough already if you do that.
Gulherme, Oct 22 2002
  

       There's a difference between patriotism and the jingoistic rubbish ktay is trying to prevent. Fishbone for dragging the word 'patriotism' through the mud one more time.
st3f, Oct 22 2002
  

       Oh yeah I like it, but I think that it should be worn by American tourists in other parts of the globe, "MOMMMYYY WHY IS THEIR POTATA EIN THE SAAALAD, DAMN KIWIS DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE SAAALAD" Hey I'm Australian and don't get me wrong I like to take the piss out of Kiwis as much as the next Aussie but damn I could have strangled those STUPID IGNORANT LOUD AMERICANS WHY @%#! THEM @#!$ING (friends step in and restrain gulherme)
Gulherme, Oct 22 2002
  

       A thoroughly shocked contempitable,detestable person...oh i get the the idea here,not the opening at the end of the alimentary canal with a cattle prod protruding..bone
skinflaps, Oct 22 2002
  

       Patriotism and xenophobia are different things ktay100, as st3f correctly points out. Patriotism tends to be ok, but xenophobia is right out. Unless its towards the English, which is perfectly reasonable.

Borderline rant anyone?
namaste, Oct 22 2002
  

       Yes, [namaste], your anno is a bordeline rant, but only what we would expect from some horrible little foreigner.
8th of 7, Oct 22 2002
  

       Yup, this is a rant. And patriots wear collars anyway - the only diff from this idea is that they receive strong negative reinforcement for having unpatriotic ideas. Rather than trying to put on a counter-collar, we should try to take their existing collars off.
rabbit, Oct 22 2002
  

       What is this Patois toe doing in my salad?
thumbwax, Oct 22 2002
  

       Bunch of arse as far as this idea goes.
skinflaps, Oct 22 2002
  

       [marked-for-deletion] Rant, Punish all who do X <after Guy's comment> Also, what St3f said.
yamahito, Oct 22 2002
  

       Also, just a minor variation on the old old old old old shock collar idea that's been done here, there and everywhere time and again... and therefore unoriginal, not to mention "Punish People Who Do X"... no?
Guy Fox, Oct 22 2002
  

       And i doubt that an Englishman would use the phrase "you maggots suck". Terribly un-refined...
[ sctld ], Oct 22 2002
  

       Isn't patriotism just submitting to the idea that we're all different? I don't think we are all that different. 'Race', is a myth. We're all so busy allowing other people to draw lines around us, and calling the enclosed space we find ourselves in, our 'country', that we're losing sight of the fact that we live on a planet TOGETHER and should start behaving as such. proud to be a citizen of Earth? Sure. Proud to be a Englishman? Who gives a shit?
briandamage, Oct 22 2002
  

       Elections coming up soon Brian?
skinflaps, Oct 23 2002
  

       Race and patriotism are in no way linked briandamage. If they are, its racism you are thinking about. Go read "The Adoption Papers" by the Scottish/Nigerian author Jackie Kay for more eloquent reasoning than I can give why cultural identity has nothing to do with race.
namaste, Oct 23 2002
  

       I'd like to cover the world with a dome
And furnish it with beanstalks above
Grow apple trees where blissmiss sees
a sky that's crystal blue

Chorus:
I'd like to teach the trolls to 'bake
So we can read DrCurry
I'd like to give 'bakers croissants
And keep it custardy
That's the 'baking.

(Alter-Repeat chorus)
I'd like to teach the trolls to bake
and braise in sauce mustardy
I'd like to give 'bakers a croissant
And keep it custardy
That's the 'baking

Chorus 2:
What Helium wants today
h a l f b a k e r y (background)
Is the 'baked thing

(Alter - Repeat chorus 2)
What jutta wants today
h a l f b a k e r y (background)
Is the 'baked thing...
thumbwax, Oct 23 2002
  

       you've baked my day, Thumb.
po, Oct 23 2002
  

       [thumb] That kitty, what ever did you do? Were you playing dress the pet up again?
blissmiss, Oct 23 2002
  

       its sleepwalking - nightmares about designer dresses.
po, Oct 23 2002
  
      
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