h a l f b a k e r yGetting blown into traffic is never fun.
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rent-a-fexion
Stressed? misunderstood? Let rent-a-fexion put the world to rights! | |
How many times have you wanted to be held, just like your
mummy used to, and be told that everything's going to be
allright?
Imagine, you are a stressed out exec, just come out of a
meeting with the board, you're facing redundancy, that twat
that just started is after your job, your're behind
on your
mortgage payments, the wife is at the nail salon, the kids at
jazz class. You want love and understanding, but you're in no
mood for sex...where can you turn to?
Rent-a-fexion to the rescue! dial the number and the discreet
van will come to your chosen location. Walk into the van and
sit on the comfy armchair, to be met by one of our soecially
trained ladies. She sits beside you and hold your aching head
to her ample warm bossom which smells of your comforting
(previosly chosen by you) scent. She cradles your head and
strokes your hair and pats your back gently whilst whispering
soothing lines like:
"shhh there, there, that's my soldier"
"bad boss come and say bad things? leave him alone (slaps
imaginary bad boss) can't you see he is tired"
"it's not babito's fault the profits are down, leave him alone he
is trying real hard"
etc etc
Around 1/2 an hour should do the trick, you leave refreshed,
and hopefully gurgling.
In my fragile mind, I see rent-a-fexion vans permanently parked
outside Wall Street- I also see a massive market in Japan.
Inspired by boyfriend who i sometimes "treat" and who said he
would "pay for it".
Am i mad or does someoone out there see my point?
similar??
http://www.halfbake...y_20fondling_20crew [po, Oct 04 2004]
similar???
http://www.halfbake..._20Office_20Workers [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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I thought this is what stressed-out execs have mistresses for. Better ask DrCurry. He's a stressed-out exec. |
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i agree- but the mistress costs more and might add to the
stress in the long run. This is strictly no strings attached
affection, on call, on demand, 24/7. |
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But you can have sex with mistresses. |
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gusta, get a cheaper mistress. |
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I'm sure I did something similar - cannot be bothered... its hot... |
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Mistresses have nothing on my team. These women will be
specially trained to be the sweetest, most loving and
gentle a-fexioners. They will even pull your socks up and
give you an apple as they wrap you up warm when you
are ready to leave. |
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Sometimes you just want to feel protected and safe. It
would be an opportunity to regress back to childhood for
the grown man. |
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fexion as in affection as in rent affection crap name i
know...open to suggestions.... |
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(af)fe(ct)xion - hanging out with thumbwax too much. |
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Still sounds like a hooker to me. |
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Wouldn't it more properly be spelled: "fection?" |
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The 2nd ed. of the OED has no listing for "fexion." It does, however, have a listing for "fex," as so: |
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1. Sediment, waste, excrement. (obs. rare.)
1545 T. RAYNALDE Byrth Mankynde (1564) 73b, A watery substance, thicke like bryne, or other fex mixed with water |
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2. Variant of fax, n, (obs.) Hair. |
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Charlie: "I..I just want you to hold me Ma'am" |
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Lady-O-the-Night: "Whatever your pleasure, Charlie, but it all costs the same." |
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It's a Hugo-Sheen hybrid. |
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That sounds like a Brazil shader, [Cedar]. |
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