Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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sweaty balls

keep your bad boys cool
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This device straps on just above one's testicles and slowly drips salt water for a constant gentle cooling effect [edit: via evaporation]. Keeps your tadpoles happy and energetic for more likely procreation.
Voice, Feb 04 2011

http://www.warwicks...junctiontroughs.htm [pocmloc, Feb 08 2011]


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       Voice, would you wear this?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 04 2011
  

       How about just circulating cool water through tubes in one's underwear?
Alx_xlA, Feb 04 2011
  

       I think any benefits to the procreation process would be counteracted by the detrimental effects of potential mates seeing you as a guy who walks around with a leaky waterbag strapped to his junk.   

       Add to that either wearing a diaper to contain run-off or just walking around with a big leaky wet spot in your crotch and I'm thinking the happiness and energy levels of your "tadpoles" would be pretty low on the list of barriers to your reproducing.
doctorremulac3, Feb 05 2011
  

       Yeah, it's going to take a unique girl to want to make babies with you.   

       Speaking of that, how do you catch a unique rabbit?   

       Easy, unique up on it.   

       How do you catch a tame rabbit?   

       Tame way, unique up on it.
normzone, Feb 06 2011
  

       It's obvious you've never owned a set of testicles.   

       ._.
Hive_Mind, Feb 06 2011
  

       "There's a unique corn in that maize."
"I thought mazes were for minotaurs."
"They were once but all of the minute tours are hours now."
"Why would anyone want to take a bunch of minotaurs?"
"Exactly our reasoning, that's why they are all hours now."
"How can you be sure that they are all yours?
"Well, there were some in an old millitary compound on the other side of the island but the leper recons pretty much scare anybody away from taking them anymore."
"You can't expect me to believe that there are leprechauns here."
"Of course there are, they guard the old Potag hold for the last dragoons."
"But...that's madness!"
"Tell me about it. The Queen's consort arrived with the first ferry and was placed in charge, so the reign beaux can never leave the Potag hold."
"This place is nuts! I'm outta here."
"Sorry to hear that. Make sure you don't cross paths with any leper recons riding cycle ops or they'll set off the sirens..."
  

       [2fries], you haven't been taking your medication, have you ?
8th of 7, Feb 06 2011
  

       I can't find it anywhere.   

       There *is* no medication for what [2_fries] has got.
mouseposture, Feb 06 2011
  

       How is the water going to be kept cool, Voice? Unless you have some sort of refrigeration unit attached as well then won't it gradually absorb heat from your body until it is the same temperature?

//it's going to take a unique girl to want to make babies with you//

There's always someone, normzone.
DrBob, Feb 07 2011
  

       oh then, by [DrBob]'s anno, maybe you should strap a small refrigerator to your unit!
xandram, Feb 07 2011
  

       Rather than having to carry the water along with you, which risks an increase in energy expended (and concomitant giggleberry temp. rise), perhaps what is needed is a ferris wheel like contraption, with the axle attached, flexibly like, to the knees, with each gimbal-mounted wheel cup picking up water from the streams and indeed gutters you splosh along in, the chill water filled cup rising up to your baws, your crotchless getup allowing you to dip dangly balls, as if a horseman at trot, into each cooling cup, as you make you way up or downstream.
calum, Feb 07 2011
  

       That's a seperate idea of and in itself, and poetry to boot.
normzone, Feb 07 2011
  

       // poetry to boot//   

       Count me in.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2011
  

       I'm wondering now why salt water in particular, Voice?
DrBob, Feb 08 2011
  

       [calum], your idea is fine for the free spirited countryman, but spare a thought for the urban drone, seated in rows in public transport... <link>
pocmloc, Feb 08 2011
  

       pocmloc, that is an awesome link, very interesting! I love the halfbakery: only here can one go from sweaty balls to Victorian railway troughs in a single bound.
calum, Feb 08 2011
  

       Bad taste + not terribly entertaining = fishbone.
RayfordSteele, Feb 08 2011
  

       DrBob, salt water evaporates more slowly, carrying off more heat.
Voice, Feb 09 2011
  


 

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