Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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vegetarian human flesh

A soy-based substitute for our fellow beings
  (+26, -10)(+26, -10)
(+26, -10)
  [vote for,

Much effort has gone into imitations of beef, turkey, etc. for people who want to pretend they're eating something that, for ethical or health reasons, they feel they shouldn't. Why not provide an equally innocent simulation of the ultimate taboo? Products such as Garden Person and Tof'uman would be inspired by authentic cannibal recipes. To avoid devaluing human life and to preserve the spiritual element of this ancient tradition, each meal could be accompanied by a brief text describing the fictitious life of the person you're eating and why you might be doing so.
hob, Jun 04 2001

a few marketing ideas http://www.graphest...ery/hb/tofuman.html
[hob, Jun 04 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

competitive idea #1 http://www.halfbake...nnibal_20restaurant
What I'm trying to avoid. [hob, Jun 04 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

competitive idea #2 http://www.halfbake...ea/Screaming_20food
A similar fantasy product, but without the spiritual dimension. [hob, Jun 04 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(?) Eat Hufu http://www.eathufu.com/
Baked(?) as of 2005 - see annotation. [hob, Jun 27 2005]

Museum of Hoaxes story on Hufu http://www.museumof...blog/comments/3252/
At least one commenter doubts it's really available [hob, Jun 27 2005]

Face on a cake http://cache.wonket...0schmidt%20cake.jpg
Cannibals birthday cake [Pellepeloton, Oct 09 2006]


AfroAssault, Jun 04 2001

       Putting the greens back in soylent?
bookworm, Jun 04 2001

       Peter, cannibal societies have fallen on hard times but are by no means extinct or unable to participate in market research.
hob, Jun 04 2001

       I thought 'long pig' was a trading position.
angel, Jun 05 2001

       waugsqueke, apologies for deleting your link but it was more of an outtake from American Psycho, not really the kind of authenticity I'm looking for. (Those interested can check out "www.torture.net".) Surely someone can take the time to go down to New Guinea and get them some Internet access...
hob, Jun 05 2001

       "Tof'uman". Chuckle. How about "VegePeople" as a brand name? Or "Meatless Moe" and "Meatless Mary"?
spaceman_spiff, Jan 18 2002

       "Soylent Soy"?
wiml, Jan 22 2002

       Or just get the rights to the name "Soylent Green" and have the slogan be "Soylent Green IS NOT people... but it tastes like it."
spaceman_spiff, Jan 22 2002

       Check out www.manbeef.com
wiggy, Jan 31 2002

       [wiggy]: Is that spam, or is it relevant to this discussion?   

       I'd check, but I'm afraid it would trigger all sorts of alarms in the workplace internet monitoring department.
Guncrazy, Jan 31 2002

       ¯Guncrazy: the flash intro is better than the site, but it isn't the "p" word although the site director has felt compelled to offer members a portal.
reensure, Feb 02 2002

       That was so funny!
positron, Feb 02 2002

       As stated, most of these fake meats out there, some considerable effort is made to have the fake stuff resemble the real stuff -- this means the texture, the smell... the TASTE.   

       Now, a lot of people have tasted beef, pork, chicken, etc... but very, very few have tasted human flesh.   

       This begs the question: How could you assure that your fake human tastes like real human... and how can you create such a thing w/o giving yourself away to the authorities as a "crazy, deranged flesh-eater on the loose"?
cswiii, Nov 26 2002

       I just watched red dragon.... ugghh too freaky.
Gulherme, Nov 26 2002

       Human flesh is supposed to taste like pork, which makes sense since our biochemistry is more similar to a pig than to a chicken or cow. Probably depends how you cook it.
hazel, Feb 06 2004

       <sidles away from [hazel]>
k_sra, Feb 06 2004

       mmmmmmmmm [hazel]
po, Feb 06 2004

       Available as a vegetarian item on flights over the Andes?
DonBirnam, Feb 06 2004

       I should point out I've never experienced the delights of the flesh in such a literal sense.
hazel, Feb 06 2004

       (jaw drops) But I liked [k_sra]. She should have sidled faster.
Worldgineer, Feb 06 2004

       Commodity futures for Fava beans and Cianti are bound to soar.
eyeguy, Feb 07 2004

       //She should have sidled faster//   

       Where'd my arm go?
k_sra, Feb 09 2004

       "My manwich that is not made of human nor any other meat in the U.S.A or parts of other continents but still tastes like me on that trip to the bahamas!"
alexandor, Feb 10 2004

       Guncrazy: You're saying that the Login "Guncrazy" doesn't trigger (no pun indended) any alarms?
Bruxism, Feb 10 2004

       A guy is now selling, or planning to sell, a similar product called Hufu. See links. Thanks to waxy.org/links (which said my idea has a better name).
hob, Jun 27 2005

       baked. Google "hufu"   

       Human-flavored tofu.
sninctown, Apr 30 2006


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