Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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2002: A Supermarket Odyssey

Featuring everybody's favorite talking computer, Hal.
  (+8, -3)
(+8, -3)
  [vote for,

Is it just me, or do those creepy supermarket checkout machines seem just a little too much like Hal, from 2001: A Space Odyssey?

tomato: [scans barcode]


tomato: [fumbles a bit]

Hal-cashier: (a little more demanding) PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG!!

tomato: [puts item in bag as quickly as possible] Sorry, I...

Hal-cashier: Dave, the groceries are far too important for me to allow you to jeopardize them.

tomato: My (real) name's not Dave.

Hal-cashier: Dave, the groceries...

tomato: [runs]

And so I think that a grocery store that's got some cool futuristic decor and some creepy ol' cashier machines wouldn't be too big a stretch from reality, but would certainly be *different.*

polartomato, Jul 02 2002

(?) What the HAL? Sayings of a machine. http://www.eofftv.c...tes/2001_quotes.htm
Source of much of the stuff read here. [polartomato, Jul 02 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Themed electronics stores http://www.gshotts.com/HUMOR/breakfas.htm
One person's cynical take on an American Western chain of theme stores, which use ironic "ancient" themes. Apparently, the company used to be a *grocery* chain. [polartomato, Jul 02 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Planetary Fitness http://www.verda.co...ctions/gymtext.html
Futuristic fitness center, sort of what I'm getting at only it's meant to add calories, not help you burn them off. Also, more interior spaceship views. [polartomato, Jul 02 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Humyns do it better http://www.brightid...2666D8F}&bucket_id=
The opinion of yours truly, nothing more. [LoriZ, Jul 03 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Baked :P http://www.fashionw...ptimal_robotics.asp
These are already in place in the States, they have a sultry female voice [ferg, Aug 26 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Apropos http://groups.msn.c...4675492357483225801
[calum, Oct 08 2004]

(?) 2001: The breakfast cereal http://www.halfbake...0breakfast_20cereal
[hippo, Oct 08 2004]


thumbwax, Jul 02 2002

       Interesting social comment, Dave. Nicely expressed. The lack of any invention, however must lead me to... Dave, please don't do that, Dave, no... Daisy... Daisy...
st3f, Jul 02 2002

       [only kidding]
st3f, Jul 02 2002

       I went to a supermarket the other day and I think the checkout sensed that I am temporarily close to insolvency, because the weighing scales went caput just as I arrived and put my stuff on the conveyor. So I got a big red cabbage, an aubergine, a courgette and three onions for 80 pence. It all helps..
sappho, Jul 02 2002

       I'm Americanocentric. Please, somebody, explain what pence are. I assume they are not a very big amount of money.   

       And I'm no Dave, thank you. David, perhaps.
polartomato, Jul 02 2002

       you keep late nights, polartomato. (or very early mornings?) There are 100 pence to a pound. And today we can get about $1.53 for a pound. However, I'm told that prices are often similar - so you could probably read my little shopping list in cents and get a reasonable idea of my grocery lucky moment.
sappho, Jul 02 2002

       ZZzzzzzz..... <snork> wha?   

       Thanks sappho. That was a good deal indeed.   

       I'm an early-morning old sap who always has a little too much free time in the summers, even though I often have to make that time myself.   

       "Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye."   

polartomato, Jul 02 2002

       In case you're *really* Americanocentric, courgette = zucchini.
angel, Jul 02 2002

       "Open the chiller cabinet doors, Hal."   

       "I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that right now."
8th of 7, Jul 02 2002

       "My God, it's full of baked beans."
waugsqueke, Jul 02 2002

       This Dave business, does it have anything to do with (sctld)'s Dave at all - I do not see the relevance.
cassandra, Jul 02 2002

       Go see the movie.
waugsqueke, Jul 02 2002

       Just to confuse [cassandra] even further, "They're all dead, Dave."
angel, Jul 02 2002

       "They're calling him Rodney ... after Dave."
calum, Jul 02 2002

       (anything cooked in Olestra passes scanner): "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave.."
Mr Burns, Jul 02 2002

       "I honestly think you ought to calm down; take an Immodium (Aisle 15) and think things over."   

       FYI, when I wrote this idea I had a novelty store in mind. I've seen a few themed superstores and computer stores (themed like an Egyptian civilization, no less, with the irony not lost on the patrons) before, but never a themed grocery/discount store (at least, a truly baked one...) and certainly not a futuristic one with intentionally threatening checkout entities.   

       BTW, what's all this business with [sctld]'s Dave?
polartomato, Jul 02 2002

       it was a phrase he was going through - don't remind him.
po, Jul 02 2002

       Ahh, yes, po, we all go through phrases. But in time, we grow out of them. Why, I remember, back when I was your age...
polartomato, Jul 02 2002

       <g> I think it was the Boy Wonder who laughed at the prospect of my ever growing up.
po, Jul 02 2002

       That was the fogeytomato speaking.
****beats old man into submission****
Much better now.
polartomato, Jul 02 2002

       Let's see, what else do you need? Strauss playing over the music system. Stockboys performing slow-motion elaborately choreographed maneuvers with their flatloads of boxes, lining up to enter aisles. Meat cutters throwing bones in the air.
waugsqueke, Jul 03 2002

       ..and, of course, the store itself should slowly rotate.

calum, I'm now having severe difficulties trying to imagine Trigger with Hal's voice. Curse you!
DrBob, Jul 03 2002

       [waugs]: In my local, the staff all perform in slow-motion anyway. 32 checkout operators with a combined IQ around room temperature. Celsius.
angel, Jul 03 2002

       24rh later the phone ring's.....
postseti, Jul 06 2002

AfroAssault, Jul 06 2002


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