Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Sugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.

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computerised stomach - Eat anything you want and still be healthy!
  [vote for,

The surgically implanted 2nd Stomach processes the food you eat before it reaches your real stomach. It extracts essential nutrients in the correct amounts and disassembles excess fat, sugar, preservatives etc into waste products. Now you can have your cake (or big Mac or greasy fries) and eat it too!

It even detects harmful chemicals in your food - so if you accidentally ingest poison - it either reassembles them into harmless chemicals or ... AutoBarf!

Its fully programmable and and can be turned on and off (ie turn it off when you're eating healthy foods) You can program it to detect elements in the food that you're allergic to. Or the AutoLog feature - which detects and logs how much carb, protein, fat, vitamins, and other elements - of the food you've eaten that day. All this data can be downloaded (using infrared or something) to your computer/PDA.

as an added feature : the 2nd stomach can place an automatic call to the hospital/parents/friend if it can't do anything about a dangerous substance you swallowed...

after all that, the processed food is sent to your real stomach.

Your body will never again suffer the consequences of a plate of cyanide-flavoured pancakes...

codefish, Mar 16 2001

(?) Super-Toys Last All Summer Long http://www.wired.co...ffsupertoys_pr.html
See the mention of the Crosswell Tape. [centauri, Mar 16 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       Am I the only person who read this as "Seconds to Mach"?
bookworm, Mar 16 2001

       guess I should have written that Second Stomach instead of 2ndstomach 2nds-to-Mach sounds like a good idea though.Whatever it does.
codefish, Mar 16 2001

       um, if it were breaking all those things up into "waste products", exactly where would they go? It's either down, into your stomach, defeating the purpose, or up, and back out. Seems to me we'd have a bunch of auto-barfing fast-fooders, and then where would the barf go? Would there be public receptacles with lids fashioned for barfing into? Or mayhap there would be a manual barf control, with a E\|/F meter somewhere, so you would know when the stomach is full and you had to make a trip to the restroom. "Hey, Bob. Looks like you had a real good lunch; your barfometer is redlining!"
absterge, Mar 16 2001

       In the story "Super-Toys Last All Summer Long," a robotics company man mentions a device that acts like a robotic tapeworm, eating excess food and keeping people trim. So, Americans are able to gorge themselves, while the rest of the world starves. As usual.
centauri, Mar 16 2001

       absterge: i think that the 'waste products' would probably be somehow (this is probably impossible to do:-) turned into "harmless" fibre
chud, Mar 16 2001

       what a wrenching story
Voice, Mar 25 2008


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