Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Yeah, I wish it made more sense too.

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A British thermometer

  [vote for,

Following on from bs0u0155's idea.

As everyone knows, the UK temperature barely hits double-figures in peak summer. So, why not just dispense with the 10 degrees and up bit?

Huzzah, a savings in materials, or more space for the "Rainy, more rainy, even more rainy, quick - get building an ark" o-meter.

not_morrison_rm, Nov 28 2018

Mock up https://drive.googl...NMm4dooMxQn1a6nZNp2
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 28 2018]

Mock up ver 2 https://drive.googl...cyrO8vYbPH2U1Ah1WSL
Hmm, looks kind of French [not_morrison_rm, Nov 29 2018]

Haggis explained http://www.montypyt.../scripts/haggis.php
[pertinax, Nov 30 2018]


       It must be calibrated in Fahrenheit too. +
xenzag, Nov 28 2018

       This is an excellent idea. Personally, I would suggest it be marked in Degrees Newton, where 0°N is the freezing point of water, and 10°N is about 30°C. Hence, most English weather will be between 0 and 10°N, which seems logical.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 28 2018

       I think you'll find that 10°N is defined as "The perfect drinking temperature for a cup of tea".
hippo, Nov 28 2018

       Incidentally, [nrm], are you quite sure you want a _British_ thermometer? Do we really want to have share it with the Welsh, the Irish and the Scots? It strikes me that an English thermometer is what's called for.   

       In fact, on reflection, can we not have regional thermometers, to recompense us for the loss of local times? Cambridge could always be 0.2°N ahead of London, for example.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 28 2018

       With the weather service needlessly bent on trivial exactitude this makes welcome sense. [+]
whatrock, Nov 28 2018

       // an English thermometer ... can we not have regional thermometers //   

       The Newton has already been spoken for. However, for Western regions the Brunel could be a suitable unit for a combined measure of wind and rain, and for the North-East, the Stephenson would be used to indicate the level of desolation and bleakness.   

       For the London area, we propose the Tindale as the S.I. combined unit of air pollution, urban noise, and generalized hostility to strangers.
8th of 7, Nov 28 2018

       The scale shouldn't be anything like as vulgar as to use numbers and units. It should be calibrated in phrases. No one needs to tell the population of England what "A bit warm, too warm really" means. At the bottom end of the scale is "Biting, best out of it" and "It's bitter out there".   

       Furthermore, the instrument cannot simply measure temperature, English weather phrases encompass so much more. The instrument must be able to measure the temperature, and the temperature record over the last week or so for several locations that might be of interest to the observer. It should measure humidity (believed to be some sort of hot damp) cloudiness, rainfall, size of raindrops, the angle of rain, how expected the rain was, washing line status, wind speed, wind direction, wind blusteriness (still no units for that) and so on.   

       When all this information is sensed, calibrated and integrated it can be output as a single "fine" (+wan smile) so that everyone understands perfectly, provided they have long experience of the local climate.
bs0u0155, Nov 28 2018

       I like the idea of a sophisticated weather station measuring rainfall, wet bulb/dry bulb temperatures, wind speed, air pressure, etc., and through a sophisticated piece of data analysis, summarising any combination of these data elements with the word "fine", except that this word contains slightly too much optimism. May I suggest more appropriate phrases would be "Could be worse" or "Mustn't grumble"?
hippo, Nov 28 2018

       8th, we're clearly on the same wavelength here. Perhaps most important is that widespread and monomaniacal dissemination of raw thermometric data is abandoned.   

       Should the weather forecast place a "12" over my region, does that mean I'm in for a sunny autumnal day comfortable in long sleeves and sunglasses ambling up some Lakeland fell, or am I knee deep in peat, battling 70mph driving rain and dying of exposure? Much better would be: "pffffff, nasty up on them 'ills"
bs0u0155, Nov 28 2018

       One mockup. Link . Due to not having any surplus numbers, less materials are used and being compact, more can be shipped in the same size box.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 28 2018

       I note with some sadness that the indicator liquid in your mock-up is red. I trust that the production model will have red, white and blue?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 28 2018

       // I am minded of Great Uncle Bulgaria at this moment //   

       Not just at this moment; you seem to be channeling the spirit of Great Uncle B. most of the time, now. It's quite disturbing.   

       If you find yourself experiencing an overwhelming compulsion to go and live in a burrow on Wimbledon common, you should seek help. Wombles Anonymous would be the obvious organization to contact.
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018

       [Ian] Hurrah - employment! The commute must be a pain though
hippo, Nov 29 2018

       Yes, but at least he doesn't have to pay anything to travel on the railway; " Underground, overground, wombling free ... "
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018

       Would the Stratford-Willesden Junction-Shepherd's Bush-West Brompton overground be any quicker? - you'd then be able to switch to the Wimbledon branch of the District Line.
hippo, Nov 29 2018

       Mornington Crescent!   

       [Ian], how did this disaster of "employment" happen? Did you finally land that job writing jingles for the Sky Sign Language channel?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018

       //I trust that the production model will have red, white and blue?   

       Hmm, see mock up ver 2. Red, white and blue...but maybe not exactly what you were after... Link
not_morrison_rm, Nov 29 2018

       Looks bloody French!
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018

       //the Wimbledon branch of the District line// somehow sounds like a clandestine secret order.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018

       ... or a Masonic lodge.   

       That description of the journey makes it sound like living in a warm, cosy burrow on the common with a gang of good-natured furry scavengers is actually a better option than risking life and limb in the dubious care of TfL ...
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018

       What is this tube thing you speak of? What is a train? Is it something like a car? Being American, I'm not aware of this technology.
RayfordSteele, Nov 30 2018

       It's exactly like the San Francisco cable-car system, but without cables, and underground

(//No, that overground from Stratford round the north to Clapham is about an hour journey from end to end, whereas the overground from Canada Water to Clapham is about 45mins// - yes, that's true; I thought you might save time on the rest of the journey though - changing trains at Clapham is a pain while at West Brompton it's pretty quick and easy, and I didn't think the West Brompton to Wimbledon journey was too slow, but then I haven't done it for a while so may be wrong)
hippo, Nov 30 2018

       // Being American, I'm not aware of this technology //   

       I too struggle with these odd references to tubes and tea, West Ham (a foodstuff?), "'ills", Welsh (dishonesty?) and previous ideas about "haggis", which sounds like a culinary weapon.
whatrock, Nov 30 2018

       Haggis, at least, can be explained. See link.
pertinax, Nov 30 2018

       Sounds offal.
whatrock, Nov 30 2018

       // exactly like the San Francisco cable-car system //   

       Very true. Slow, antiquated, uncomfortable, unbelievably expensive, and packed with foreigners.   

       // Haggis, at least, can be explained. //   

       Haggis can be described (in between bouts of projctile vomiting), but can not be explained; the reason for its creation and existance, other than as a biological weapon, is not obvious.
8th of 7, Nov 30 2018

       I have to disagree with [8th] here, and probably poke him with a pointy stick. Haggis is a dish created in the same spirit as "burnt crunchy bits" (of which I know [8th] is partial) - i.e. it contains all the scraggly and unattractive parts of the animal that are, in fact, delicious.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2018

       (starts to take bets 8th vs Buchanan arm wrestling, prize fund runs to 25p and Curlywurly(still in date))   

       Place yer bets gennelmen...
not_morrison_rm, Nov 30 2018

       £27,462 on [8th] to win.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2018

       Make sure you get his stake money off him in advance.
8th of 7, Nov 30 2018

       Actually I already owe [8th] £30,000. So just collect the £27,462 directly from him, and he can write me a cheque for the other £2548.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2018

       Ok, sounds fair ... oh, wait ...
8th of 7, Nov 30 2018

       Until the end of the bout, all pointy sticks are to be placed in the rack provided, just under the helpful sign to remind you of the correct spelling of "existence".   

       Carry on.
pertinax, Dec 01 2018

       You'll take our pointy sticks away when you pry them from our cold, dead fingers ...   

       // existence //   

       Bah ... blame the spellchecker.
8th of 7, Dec 01 2018

       Looking out the window, I should have gone for the Ark-O-Meter...
not_morrison_rm, Dec 03 2018

       I'm not one to pry.
pertinax, Dec 03 2018

       An obvius incentive to local manufacturing, this cannot be imported from China, or any place with temperatures outside the scale.
piluso, Dec 03 2018


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