h a l f b a k e r yBirth of a Notion.
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In the UK we have a gooey nut filled, covered in
chocolate
confectionary item, called A Mars Bar.(see pics in link)
One of these iconic explosions of sweetness should be
placed on a little plinth on the planet Mars, protected by
a
clear dome, and under the permanent watchful
observation
of a camera to which earthly viewers can log
in and share their time and comments on a forum.
Naturally the Bar will be half unwrapped with a bite out
of
it....
Mars Bar
http://www.marsbar.....co.uk/default.aspx [xenzag, Dec 10 2018]
Mars (there are many versions)
https://en.wikipedi...ars_(chocolate_bar) [xenzag, Dec 10 2018]
water
https://pbs.twimg.c...CQAICTgUwAAVZjf.jpg [Voice, Dec 11 2018]
Thomas Dolby - Pulp Culture (Aliens ate my buick
https://www.youtube...watch?v=TdT4t0ywppA I drove all over Hollywood looking at the stars</br>First I ate my Milky Way and then I ate my Mars</br>But sucking on a Galaxy I noticed something pretty bizarre</br>There's not a lot of people there, just an awful lot of cars. [Dub, Dec 12 2018]
[link]
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Yes, but only if you extend this nominative object enplinthing policy to Uranus |
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Uh, Mars Bars don't have nuts in them. |
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// to which earthly viewers can log in and share their time
and comments on a forum // |
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Doubtless most of the comments will center on the alien
species seen to take the first bite. |
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... which will probably be Elon Musk. |
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Mars Bars still don't contain nuts. |
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//Mars Bars still don't contain nuts// - how about if we rename the planet Mars to "Marathon" (or "Snickers")? |
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//Mars Bars still don't contain nuts// That really bothers you doesn't it? Ha |
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No, I like then without nuts, and if I want nuts I buy a
Marathon (or Snickers, if you insist). I was merely trying to
help you to improve yourself, by pointing out your error. It's a
thankless and endless task, but someone should make the
effort. |
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Top tip: If you read MB's nuts comments as responses to the comments they follow, it enhances the viewing experience. |
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Exactly where would you place the Milky Way bar? |
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//Exactly where would you place the Milky Way bar?// |
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They're already in roughly the correct location. Which was a
stroke of luck given the alternatives. |
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// roughly the correct location // |
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For you lot, looking up, maybe. For us, not so much. |
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//It's a thankless and endless task// I feel greatly improved, and most happy to provide you with the opportunity to rise above your usual base-line. You can thank me at some future time. (I'll let you know when and how - meanwhile, have a few peanuts - I've sculpted them to look like miniature cauliflowers. It took many hours, but you're worth the effort) |
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<looks closely at peanuts> Have you ever sculpted before? |
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This was my first time at this scale. My last effort was a life sized replica of the Sphinx made entirely from corn on the cob, but the termites got to it. |
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Well, keep at it. Next time, maybe less peanut-shaped and
more cauliflower-shaped. Oh, and dry-roast would be nice. |
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Innovative, certainly. Edible ? Who knows ... |
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It should be delicious. I'm extrapolating a curve with only two
datapoints on it: (a) uncooked (b) pressure-cooked for about
a week. |
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Ah, you clearly prefer your Christmas vegetables cooked "al dente" compared to the traditional English style, where the sprouts for Christmas day are put on to boil on the Boxing Day of the previous year ... |
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Cauliflower grows on the moon. |
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The History of The American Mars Bar (otherwise known as
support for poor [xenzag]. |
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Mars Bars began their lifecycle with 4 lovely almonds
placed strategically on the top, covered in the delicious
chocolate outer layer. |
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People complained that the almonds were too hard to eat
so they, (The Martians), began combining chopped almonds
in the creamy inner part and removed the top almonds, so
that consumers would still enjoy the taste of the prized
almond, but without breaking off a front tooth in the
process. (wimps.) |
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I stopped buying them at that point, so I'm not sure if they
removed the best part of the bar or not like the honorable
M.B. proclaims, but bottom line, I'd still fly to Mars to go to
the Mars Bar, just to hang out with [xenzag], so there. |
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Spooky ... we have been planning to relocate* [xenzag] to Mars** for some time. |
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Do you want to hitch a lift ? Don't forget to bring two forms of ID, a change of clothing, stout shoes, suncream, water and oxygen. |
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*Strictly speaking it falls under "extraordinary rendition". |
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**Or even further if we can get away with it. |
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//I'd still fly to Mars to go to the Mars Bar, just to
hang out with [xenzag], so there.// Who could ask
for more? We can use 8th as fuel after some
mulching and decontamination to sanitise the
terrible pong. (I may post a new idea entitled Pong
The Terrible!) ha |
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//Mars Bars began their lifecycle// Only in the colonies,
where such extravagances are not considered gauche. Over
here, people were shocked enough by the concept of
combining chocolate AND nougat AND caramel. There'd've
been riots if someone had proposed adding nuts. If any UK
citizen is aberrant enough to consider the standard Mars bar
inadequate, they have only to visit a chippie and discreetly
ask for it to be deep fried in batter. |
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When we finally caved in and _did_ decide to add nuts, we
made the whole thing smaller and called it Marathon, so as
not to seem completely overindulgent. |
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What do the Greeks call it ? Or can they no longer afford to import luxury goods like confectionary ? |
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Thank you, [blissmiss]. TIL. |
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The history of the Mars bar began with an imitation
of a Milky Way bar. You're welcome. |
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I don't remember ever eating a Mars bar with any form of
almonds in it, but it sounds good. |
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I posted [reensure] a Mars bar once. |
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^ Tubular chocolate doesn't stack as neatly as bar format. |
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Actually, it would be cylindrical. |
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<Short session of Googling images/> |
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<Gasping, whimpering and retching/> |
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<Decision that further annotation is inadvisable/> |
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//Interesting that a chocolate factory doesnt have a product called Uranus// Indeed:
Mercury has a make of car and an element
Venus has ladies' shaving equipment and a carnivorous plant Mars has a chocolate bar Jupiter has a large financial services company, and a Scottish wildlife centre Saturn has a make of car and a cryptocurrency trading platform Uranus has nothing Neptune has loads - bars, fish restaurants, all sorts of businesses Pluto (yes, I know it's not a planet any more) has a cartoon dog
We need a governing body for the naming of things after planets which should redress this balance and compel a few of these to be named after Uranus instead. |
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Your planets are named after mythological deities, so generally it is more correct to say that the items you list are named after the deities, not the planets. There may be exceptions, of course, but the deities were the Prior Art. |
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Mercury, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto have also given their names, or portions thereof, to chemical elements, as has your moon (Selenium). |
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