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A Mars Bar on Mars

go to Mars but be sure to bring a Mars Bar
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
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In the UK we have a gooey nut filled, covered in chocolate confectionary item, called A Mars Bar.(see pics in link) One of these iconic explosions of sweetness should be placed on a little plinth on the planet Mars, protected by a clear dome, and under the permanent watchful observation of a camera to which earthly viewers can log in and share their time and comments on a forum. Naturally the Bar will be half unwrapped with a bite out of it....
xenzag, Dec 10 2018

Mars Bar http://www.marsbar.....co.uk/default.aspx
[xenzag, Dec 10 2018]

Mars (there are many versions) https://en.wikipedi...ars_(chocolate_bar)
[xenzag, Dec 10 2018]

water https://pbs.twimg.c...CQAICTgUwAAVZjf.jpg
[Voice, Dec 11 2018]

Thomas Dolby - Pulp Culture (Aliens ate my buick https://www.youtube...watch?v=TdT4t0ywppA
I drove all over Hollywood looking at the stars</br>First I ate my Milky Way and then I ate my Mars</br>But sucking on a Galaxy I noticed something pretty bizarre</br>There's not a lot of people there, just an awful lot of cars. [Dub, Dec 12 2018]

[link]






       Yes, but only if you extend this nominative object enplinthing policy to Uranus
hippo, Dec 10 2018
  

       Uh, Mars Bars don't have nuts in them.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2018
  

       // to which earthly viewers can log in and share their time and comments on a forum //   

       Doubtless most of the comments will center on the alien species seen to take the first bite.   

       [+]
whatrock, Dec 10 2018
  

       ... which will probably be Elon Musk.
8th of 7, Dec 10 2018
  

       Mars Bars still don't contain nuts.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2018
  

       //Mars Bars still don't contain nuts// - how about if we rename the planet Mars to "Marathon" (or "Snickers")?
hippo, Dec 10 2018
  

       //Mars Bars still don't contain nuts// That really bothers you doesn't it? Ha
xenzag, Dec 10 2018
  

       No, I like then without nuts, and if I want nuts I buy a Marathon (or Snickers, if you insist). I was merely trying to help you to improve yourself, by pointing out your error. It's a thankless and endless task, but someone should make the effort.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2018
  

       Top tip: If you read MB's nuts comments as responses to the comments they follow, it enhances the viewing experience.
4and20, Dec 10 2018
  

       Exactly where would you place the Milky Way bar?
RayfordSteele, Dec 10 2018
  

       //Exactly where would you place the Milky Way bar?//   

       They're already in roughly the correct location. Which was a stroke of luck given the alternatives.
bs0u0155, Dec 10 2018
  

       // roughly the correct location //   

       For you lot, looking up, maybe. For us, not so much.
8th of 7, Dec 10 2018
  

       //It's a thankless and endless task// I feel greatly improved, and most happy to provide you with the opportunity to rise above your usual base-line. You can thank me at some future time. (I'll let you know when and how - meanwhile, have a few peanuts - I've sculpted them to look like miniature cauliflowers. It took many hours, but you're worth the effort)
xenzag, Dec 10 2018
  

       <looks closely at peanuts> Have you ever sculpted before?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2018
  

       This was my first time at this scale. My last effort was a life sized replica of the Sphinx made entirely from corn on the cob, but the termites got to it.
xenzag, Dec 10 2018
  

       Well, keep at it. Next time, maybe less peanut-shaped and more cauliflower-shaped. Oh, and dry-roast would be nice.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2018
  

       Dry-roast cauliflower ?   

       Innovative, certainly. Edible ? Who knows ...
8th of 7, Dec 10 2018
  

       It should be delicious. I'm extrapolating a curve with only two datapoints on it: (a) uncooked (b) pressure-cooked for about a week.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2018
  

       Ah, you clearly prefer your Christmas vegetables cooked "al dente" compared to the traditional English style, where the sprouts for Christmas day are put on to boil on the Boxing Day of the previous year ...
8th of 7, Dec 10 2018
  

       Cauliflower grows on the moon.
xenzag, Dec 11 2018
  

       The History of The American Mars Bar (otherwise known as support for poor [xenzag].   

       Mars Bars began their lifecycle with 4 lovely almonds placed strategically on the top, covered in the delicious chocolate outer layer.   

       People complained that the almonds were too hard to eat so they, (The Martians), began combining chopped almonds in the creamy inner part and removed the top almonds, so that consumers would still enjoy the taste of the prized almond, but without breaking off a front tooth in the process. (wimps.)   

       I stopped buying them at that point, so I'm not sure if they removed the best part of the bar or not like the honorable M.B. proclaims, but bottom line, I'd still fly to Mars to go to the Mars Bar, just to hang out with [xenzag], so there.
blissmiss, Dec 11 2018
  

       Spooky ... we have been planning to relocate* [xenzag] to Mars** for some time.   

       Do you want to hitch a lift ? Don't forget to bring two forms of ID, a change of clothing, stout shoes, suncream, water and oxygen.   

       *Strictly speaking it falls under "extraordinary rendition".   

       **Or even further if we can get away with it.
8th of 7, Dec 11 2018
  

       //I'd still fly to Mars to go to the Mars Bar, just to hang out with [xenzag], so there.// Who could ask for more? We can use 8th as fuel after some mulching and decontamination to sanitise the terrible pong. (I may post a new idea entitled Pong The Terrible!) ha
xenzag, Dec 11 2018
  

       //Mars Bars began their lifecycle// Only in the colonies, where such extravagances are not considered gauche. Over here, people were shocked enough by the concept of combining chocolate AND nougat AND caramel. There'd've been riots if someone had proposed adding nuts. If any UK citizen is aberrant enough to consider the standard Mars bar inadequate, they have only to visit a chippie and discreetly ask for it to be deep fried in batter.   

       When we finally caved in and _did_ decide to add nuts, we made the whole thing smaller and called it Marathon, so as not to seem completely overindulgent.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 11 2018
  

       // Marathon //   

       What do the Greeks call it ? Or can they no longer afford to import luxury goods like confectionary ?
8th of 7, Dec 11 2018
  

       Thank you, [blissmiss]. TIL.
pertinax, Dec 12 2018
  

       The history of the Mars bar began with an imitation of a Milky Way bar. You're welcome.
RayfordSteele, Dec 12 2018
  

       I don't remember ever eating a Mars bar with any form of almonds in it, but it sounds good.
notexactly, Dec 12 2018
  

       I posted [reensure] a Mars bar once.
nineteenthly, Dec 12 2018
  

       ^ Tubular chocolate doesn't stack as neatly as bar format.
whatrock, Dec 12 2018
  

       Actually, it would be cylindrical.   

       <Short session of Googling images/>   

       <Gasping, whimpering and retching/>   

       <Decision that further annotation is inadvisable/>
8th of 7, Dec 12 2018
  

       //Interesting that a chocolate factory doesn’t have a product called Uranus// Indeed:

Mercury has a make of car and an element
Venus has ladies' shaving equipment and a carnivorous plant
Mars has a chocolate bar
Jupiter has a large financial services company, and a Scottish wildlife centre
Saturn has a make of car and a cryptocurrency trading platform
Uranus has nothing
Neptune has loads - bars, fish restaurants, all sorts of businesses
Pluto (yes, I know it's not a planet any more) has a cartoon dog

We need a governing body for the naming of things after planets which should redress this balance and compel a few of these to be named after Uranus instead.
hippo, Dec 12 2018
  

       Your planets are named after mythological deities, so generally it is more correct to say that the items you list are named after the deities, not the planets. There may be exceptions, of course, but the deities were the Prior Art.   

       Mercury, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto have also given their names, or portions thereof, to chemical elements, as has your moon (Selenium).
8th of 7, Dec 12 2018
  
      
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