Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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A really convincing alibi for why I'm always on halfbakery and never on task

"I'm evoking the creative process here so I can then funnel that energy into my proposal document."
  (+12, -1)(+12, -1)
(+12, -1)
  [vote for,

At least this alibi beats the old standby, "I swear this sh*t ain't porn!"
julien, Aug 15 2000

Web Economy Bullshit Generator http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html
See also: "Propoganda Machine". [Scott_D, Aug 15 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(??) Hairball http://www.lucid.org/hairball
stupid game where you play a cat [lucidish, Aug 15 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(?) Princess bride http://movie-review...princess_bride.html
[k_s]'s ROUS reference. [Worldgineer, Oct 04 2004]


       "I'm honing my creative thinking and Web data-mining skills" (dreaming and surfing).
hippo, Aug 15 2000

       "I'm implementing out of the box infrastructures". Courtesy of the "Web Economy Bullshit Generator".
Scott_D, Aug 15 2000

       Damn! You guys are good at this. Where were ya'll when I was in high school and failing algebra?
julien, Aug 15 2000

       "I'm trying to fight my Hairball addiction."
lucidish, Aug 16 2000

       Get yourself to a 12 step meeting unless one doesn't exist for that affliction, in which case...bake it.
julien, Aug 16 2000, last modified Aug 17 2000

       "My finger slipped."
PotatoStew, Sep 14 2000

       "You should be glad that I'm able to sublimate my raging homicidal urges in this way."
Monkfish, Oct 27 2000

       Doing a little R&D.
nick_n_uit, May 25 2001

       Yesterday a co-worker of mine asked, "What's that page? You've been looking at it for hours!" I'm just glad I wasn't looking at Vagina-Jam or Poo Power.
ejs, May 25 2001

       "Just testing the links on that CD we're bundling with our new book, *Disappear into the Internet and Love It.*
whatsbruin, Sep 07 2001

       "A cryptographer suggested this site"
thumbwax, Sep 07 2001

       "I quit!"
snarfyguy, Sep 08 2001

       um, I'm waiting for the traffic to die down?
daruma, Nov 28 2001

       "I'm verifying a workstation problem with reification that includes occasional obfuscatory scrivenry."
entremanure, Nov 28 2001

lewisgirl, Nov 28 2001

       I'm Stephen's big Sys, if that helps?
lewisgirl, Nov 28 2001

       depends LG -- does he administer to you?
daruma, Nov 28 2001

       Rather amazingly I have, occasionally, used the 'bakery for legitimate work reasons. The sheer volume of research that 'bakers do in order to come up with many of the links throws up some quite useful little nuggets of information. So, no excuses necessary. This is all completely legitimate use of work time.
DrBob, Mar 24 2003

       //I have, occasionally, used the 'bakery for legitimate work reasons.//

for example?
hippo, Mar 24 2003

       Just for retrieving odd bits of info that I remembered seeing on a 'bakery link and had to have a rummage through the site in order to retrieve. Nothing very earth shattering. I can't remember the precise details, the last time that I did it was some while ago.
DrBob, Mar 24 2003

       Sounds like you're in the denial stage. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem.
Worldgineer, Mar 24 2003

       [julien] Terrific ... and timely. I should be somewhere else "as we speak"   

       [WorldEngineer] The 1st step to recovery is to avoid 12 step programs.
thecat, Jul 05 2003

       [julien] Terrific ... and timely. I should be somewhere else "as we speak".   

       [WorldEngineer] The 1st step to recovery is to avoid 12 step programs.
thecat, Jul 05 2003

       perhaps the good doctor is a psycho-therapist.
po, Jul 05 2003

       For me! Sheesh. TODAY I am playing hooky. Double sheesh.
thecat, Jul 05 2003

       Yes, on a Saturday. The labor market info center is open on a Saturday. I am looking for a way to find a job that will allow me to, without formal credentials to hide behind, kick some rather sorry asses like ... . Maybe working as a receptionist, research assistant etc. in a decent union or for a responsible politician, etc.
thecat, Jul 06 2003

       I love the way you (TUS's) delete things that make you look mean & stupid (and as a byproduct make people wonder what I'm talking about - or is that equal opportunity fun). Is there a way to change my stuff too! This is the second time it seems possible this was done. Some of you are such class acts.
thecat, Jul 10 2003

       TUS's? Is that like ROUS's?   

       My convincing alibi? I pretend that I'm NOT on the Halfbakery whenever a boss walks by. I keep an official looking document on an open Word window so I can flash it on the screen just as they pass me. But I'm pretty sure that I am not fooling anyone. They must've seen the bun in the top corner a hundred times. I'm just glad the background color isn't pink, or peach, or minty green...
k_sra, Jul 10 2003

       TUS's -The Usual Suspects. That revolving band of malicious bullies that pop up more than I care to think about.
thecat, Jul 10 2003

       You yourself have popped up six out of the last nine annos. And you've shown your malicious side. May I add you to the TUS's?
k_sra, Jul 10 2003

thecat, Jul 10 2003

       Ah, then I will add you to the ROUS's. : )
k_sra, Jul 10 2003

       ROUS? Please, what is ROUS?
my face your, Jul 10 2003

       Rodents of unsual size, as I recall.
Worldgineer, Jul 10 2003

       <slaps head> Of course!
<wanders off muttering "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" in a spanglish accent>
my face your, Jul 10 2003

       moggies (even that one) are not rodents.. whats that about then? are we waiting for therat?
po, Jul 10 2003

       Apparently, k_sra you are unwilling (or perhaps unable) to discern the difference between a decent citizen shooting a marauding intruder and a maruding intruder shooting a decent citizen.   

       Awaiting the obvious (I'm even feeding you the straight line) cheap spin on my analogy.   

       fiercely conversant ... thecat
thecat, Jul 10 2003

       P.S. Do tell, WHAT WERE those 6 items.
thecat, Jul 10 2003

       potato potahto marauding maruding. [:)]   

       Thanks (I've changed it).   

       love AND kissy kisses ... the cat.
thecat, Jul 10 2003

       Thank you (I think).
thecat, Jul 10 2003

       My money (what there is of it) is on ME. I am fiercely honest and relentlessly persistent. Do the right thing and fear nothing. Or rather, feel the fear and do it anyway.   

       The cat doesn't have a problem with The rat (that I know of anyway - yet!). TUS's definitely, k_sra possibly. Be mean,dishonest, or sneaky -- get called on it. Oh, that reminds me -- all the links stink.
thecat, Jul 11 2003

       Now all that's needed is someone called 'TheBat' and this off-topic thread will never end.   

       My excuse: "I was lifting that croissant jpeg for the Lloyds leaflet. I think it denotes life insurance, and the need to protect the future of ones loved ones, to a tee."
Nickynackynoo, Jul 11 2003

       [renboga] did u know, according to the theories of evolution, that all the mammals evolved from rats. well not rats specifically, but small rodents that inhabited the earth back in the day ("back in the day" meaning millions and millions of years ago)
Mind_Boggle, Sep 22 2003

       //all the mammals evolved from rats. well not rats specifically, but small rodents // nah, we all evolved from pigeons.
po, Sep 23 2003

       “Could you tell us Mr. Darwin why we weren’t equipped with tails for all, to whisk away flies or whip a horse while riding?”
”Evolution didn’t give a rat's ass.”
FarmerJohn, Sep 23 2003

       [po] Where I come from a moggy is a mouse or other small furry rodent or a gnat. We understand that most people think that they are cats (incorrectly of course) so only use it to other leithers.
squeak, Sep 23 2003

       TheRat came back, the very next day...   

       Hi, TheRat!
k_sra, Sep 23 2003

       a moggy/ie is a cat, round these parts, stranger. usually a scavenging, alley cat.
po, Sep 23 2003

       That should do it. I'm sure they got the message, since they're watching everything you type. Oh, and they wanted me to let you know there's something in your teeth - it's really bugging them.
Worldgineer, Sep 23 2003

       The link is dead now (11 years later).
pashute, Jul 26 2011

       I was wondering who was digging around the burial grounds.
blissmiss, Jul 26 2011

       Didn't work.   

       I've been asked at work to run my ideas past the boss before posting to HB.
Twizz, Jul 27 2011

       What? I can't hear you -- I just invented the flux capacitor.
JesusHChrist, Jul 28 2011


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