Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Adopt-a-Universe

Using the many worlds interpretation as a birthday gift.
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For a small monitary fee, customers can have a certificate certifying the creation and ownership of an entire universe to a certain person, who can name that universe to their liking. Our universe, as we exist in it, can only be sold to one person for if it were sold to more than one, that would be fraud or selling of counterfeit goods. Our universe is most likely owned by an individual in a more advanced species, elsewhere in the universe, as they would have come across this industry long before us. If we are the most itelligent organisms in this universe, it belongs to Bill Gates.

Because of this, more universes need to be created. With the right technology, a company could built a machine that could monitor a single unstable radioactive atom. According to the many worlds interpretation, there will come a time when there is a 50% chance of the atom decaying into daughter element and a 50% chance of it not decaying and when it reaches this point, the universe becomes two universes, one in which the atom decays and one in which the atom does not. The creation of a new universe doesn't rely on the atom decaying but an exact 50/50 chance of it doing or not doing so. Even if the atom remains in its current state the new universe would have been created and the customer would pay the company at the same time in which the customer would pay the other company in the universe in which the atom did decay. Because the customers cannot see the process of decay, not decay, or proof that there was a 50/50 chance, all the company would need is a thick steel box with a tiny green light that could be turned on the signify the attaining of an even likelyhood. And for some money, the customer is entitled to boast about owning another universe.

jellydoughnut, May 31 2006


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Annotation:







       I've just sold my apartment and am looking for a new place. Does the universe have good closet space?
pigtails_and_ponies, May 31 2006
  

       Hey! This one's defective.
baconbrain, Jun 01 2006
  

       There are only three things to remember when purchasing a new universe. Location location location.   

       Can I get a crappy, run-down, entrophic universe? That way I can fix it up- add a few stars, maybe a nice blackhole or two and flip it for a profit. I'll make millions! Muhahaha!
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jun 01 2006
  

       - for using Bill Gates and Intelligent in the same sentence.
webfishrune, Jun 01 2006
  

       Any kind of guarantee in case of universal crunch or collapse?
epicproblem, Jun 01 2006
  

       There's a waranty; 10 billion years. Although it always seems to be the case that as soon as your waranty expires, you need a new carbeurator or nebula or something or other.
jellydoughnut, Jun 01 2006
  

       Is it made by God, or by a third-party manufacturer?
phundug, Jun 01 2006
  

       Pimp my universe.
zeno, Jun 02 2006
  

       Well, if string theory gets boned by the physicists, there will be a great number of universes that will need new guardians. You may have trouble even giving them away for free.
undata, Nov 19 2006
  


 

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